Memories of My Mother

My mom passed away 6 years ago at the age of 64, on April 7, 2002. She'd just finished watching General Conference when she began to fail. She died on her own mother's 96th birthday (though Grandma Haley had died 9 years earlier).

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Today would have been my mother's 71st birthday. I thought it would be fitting to write a tribute to the woman who brought me into this world and raised me.

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She was born Hazel Jane Haley on 29 Sept 1937 in Kingsburg, California. She was the youngest of 5 children. Her family had come to California 8 years earlier from Oklahoma to work as itinerant laborers.

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Named for her Aunt Hazel, her mother's little sister, Mom went by her middle name, Jane. (Callie Jayne was named for her grandma.)

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This is Mom at her wedding reception. My dad, Myron, missed it because his boss at the gas station wouldn't give him time off!

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They married on 18 Aug 1953. Mom was 15 years old and Dad was 18. They eloped to Reno, Nevada--with both sets of parents in the backseat! They were married by a bishop in Reno, but Mom had to lie about her age. It came back to haunt her when I was about 10 years old. After seeing an old Dick Van Dyke show where Laura Petrie found out she wasn't legally married because she lied about her age, I told our neighbors my parents weren't really married!

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This is Mom and me in April 1955. She was 17 and I was 7 months old. (Okay, so I was bald!)

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Mom knew she wanted 5 children, but it wasn't easy. After my birth she had 3 miscarriages and a full-term, stillborn son named Gerald Lynn, for Dad's oldest brother Lynn who'd died at age 21 from a heart defect. They never knew why Gerald died just hours before his birth. Dad said he was perfect in form, with golden hair.

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While expecting her next child, Mom worried about losing another baby. Then she dreamed some men came into the room and put a baby boy in her arms. "His name is LeRoy Thomas," they said. She knew then she would have a healthy son, and never worried again.

By Easter 1961 (this photo)--when Dad was 26 and Mom was 23-- our family was made up of me, Mary Jane (age 6), LeRoy Thomas (age 2), and Karla Fern (11 months). Jefferey Alan was on the way in November 1961. In May 1963 our family of 5 children was completed when our youngest brother, Darryl William, was born.

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Aaah, the advent of colored film! The picture below was taken 1 June 1968 on the day our family was sealed in the Oakland, CA temple. In back: Mom (age 30), Dad (age 33), and me (age 13). In front: Darryl (age 5), LeRoy (age 9), Karla (age 8), and Jeff (age 6).

To Mom, nothing was more important than family. I'm grateful that she passed that legacy on to us, her children. Despite distances between us, the 5 of us remain close, and I know that pleases Mom greatly.

She didn't discriminate between families, either. She made sure we attended every family gathering, whether it was for her own relatives or Dad's, even when Dad was on the road as a Greyhound bus driver.

I tried to skip a couple of family reunions when I was a kid, begging to stay with friends. Mom would have none of it. My friends ended up joining us and we'd have a great time playing with my many cousins.

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Mom loved being a grandma and often babysat her grandchildren. This is her in March 1984 at age 46 with her second grandchild/first granddaughter Genevieve.

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After her first stroke at age 59, Mom suffered poor health, but we feel she hung on as long as possible so she could enjoy her grandchildren.

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We wish she could be here now to enjoy her 8 great-grandchildren (so far), but I have no doubt Mom knew them before we did and gave them a sweet send-off from heaven when they came to occupy their new little bodies.

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After Mom died, we siblings waited until the 5 of us could all be together before we went to view her body. Emotions were high and we couldn't speak as we looked down upon her. Then our baby brother Darryl (tall, husky, tough guy) let out a sob. We looked at the horrified expression on his face--and then we all burst into hysterical laughter mixed with free-flowing tears. We all felt Mom in the room, beaming happily down at us, knowing we would be all right because we had each other.

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Happy birthday, Mom. We love you!