At Gunpoint

I never dreamed we'd start our weekend with news that my 11-year-old son was threatened at gunpoint in our own rural neighborhood.

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It began innocently. Last night my sons had friends over to spend the night. Jacob and Bryce are 17, Dylan is 11, and Tony is 13. At 8:30 the younger boys decided to see if a friend wanted to hang out. Since it was dark, the older boys walked with them.

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The friend and her father, a firefighter, live around the corner from us. Both my boys have visited them for years, playing games, watching movies, having bonfires, grilling, jumping on the trampoline, often staying late.

Jacob and Bryce waited in the road, talking, while Dylan and Tony went to the friend's gate. Seeing someone near the house some distance from the gate, Dylan called to the girl by name: "Can you come out?"

Jacob and Dylan told Tony not to open the gate, but he stepped inside. The girl's dad headed down the drive toward them. His body language warned Tony to turn and run.

Dylan stood outside the gate, unsure why Tony fled. He planned to ask if the daughter could play, but the dad reached the gate, raised the gun and pointed it at Dylan's head, saying, "You f---ing better run, too!"

By now Bryce was gone, but Jacob witnessed it all before Dylan ran. Dylan was terrified. It was in his eyes when he showed how the man held the gun pointed at his face.

I grilled the younger and older boys separately to figure out what happened. Their narratives matched exactly, so I called the Sheriff''s Department.

Life in a small town: firefighters and law enforcement officers all know each other. Two deputies came and asked the same questions I'd asked, wanted to know if we were willing to press charges for aggravated assault, and assured me the firefighting father would not receive preferential treatment just because they knew him.

I didn't want to press charges unless necessary. I only wanted the dad to know I was taking this threat seriously and to be warned to use better judgment in the future. I respect what our firefighters do, but I am appalled that a man with his training, entrusted with public safety, would aim a gun at an 11-year-old child's head and threaten him.

After talking to him, the deputies returned and said he "openly admitted" to pointing a gun at my son's head. He said the safety was on. He claimed he heard male voices talking about his daughter and felt threatened, but didn't take action until "they came through the gate." He said he didn't recognize them in the dark. The deputies reminded us that citizens have the right to protect their homes when threatened, with deadly force if necessary.

I wholeheartedly embrace the right to protect our families, but I take issue with several things. First, this man did not ask the boys to identify themselves. Second, he did not ask them to leave or even speak to them. Third, he did not warn them he had a gun before aiming it. Fourth, Dylan was outside the gate the entire time. Fifth, Dylan never made a move or sound that could be construed as even slightly threatening. Sixth, there are lights at the gate; even if this guy somehow missed hearing Dylan's young voice calling to his daughter by name, even if he didn't recognize Dylan's face for some unexplained reason, he was close enough to see that Dylan was only a child. (You can see the lights in the picture above; Jacob says Dylan was standing a few feet back from the gate so the light was shining right on his face.)

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Once I pointed these things out, the deputies admitted that the lighting was good enough to clearly see this was a young boy and not a threat. They said they impressed upon the dad that pointing a gun at an 11-year-old child is "a stupid thing to do" and he'd better improve his judgment before using a gun again.

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I do find it troubling that this man, who traumatized a young boy with a gun, hasn't seen fit to apologize to Dylan for his mistake. It kind of shakes my confidence in the basic goodness of those who choose to serve the public.

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To those of you who have or know children who spend time in my neighborhood, I strongly recommend you warn your children to stay away from the house with the big gate seen in the final photo of this post. The next child at the gate may not be so lucky.