Sarah's Turn

June 28, 2018: Sarah and Chris's new living room, all done up!

With all the focus on the problems of the inherited house in Mesa, where my son Jacob now lives, it's nice to take a little time now to remember that my daughter, Sarah, and her husband, Chris, also moved into a new home in May. They closed on their new house, the first they've ever owned, almost six weeks ago, and they've spent that time getting all moved in while tackling some new-home issues of their own. (Nothing too serious, though.)

Notice their new kitten, Rosie Cotton, curled up beside the wood stove. 

From their first nights in the house, they soon discovered how hot it can get inside, even in a location with summer temperatures as mild as here in the White Mountains. Although the place came with an evaporative cooler, they've chosen not to use it because it has a leak they can't address yet. Instead, they're making do with fans.

When our chilly winter arrives, they have a furnace with floor vents, but they hope to remedy and heat the house more cheaply with the nice wood stove in the above photo. Unfortunately, when they had the house inspected, they learned that the wood stove is out of code, due to exposed wires and no insulation. Both issues will be relatively easy fixes. They just need to route the wires through an exterior conduit, and then buy/install the proper bricks beneath the stove and on the surrounding walls.

Entertainment center on the wall opposite the couch and love seat.

Sarah and Chris had a great time going though boxes and boxes of things for their home that they'd nearly forgotten about since they got married almost seven years ago, because most of their things have been in storage since then. Their tiny apartment simply wasn't big enough to use or display all they wonderful gifts they received over the years.

The wall clock housewarming gift I gave pet-lovers Sarah and Chris.

It was fun to give them a wall clock as a housewarming gift, knowing they'd be able to use it immediately. I had given Jacob a wolf clock for his birthday this week, something to put on his wall when he moved into his great-grandma Helen's former home, so it seemed appropriate to do something similar for Sarah and Chris. They both love animals, especially dogs and cats, so I thought they'd enjoy these adorable puppies on their wall.

Closeup of the built-in shelves Sarah filled with fun bric-a-brac.

There were, of course, some boxes they didn't unpack yet. Someday they plan to put a shed in the backyard where they can store the types of things still boxed away. For now, those items are being stored on the enclosed porch and in the second bedroom. Also, the master bedroom is still a work in progress, so there are some rooms I didn't film during my visit to their house yesterday. For instance, Sarah is looking for a nice headboard to use with their queen bed. I'll do a reveal when she's done getting the room exactly as they'd like it.

Their cozy dining area next to the kitchen.

Chris is very happy with his new, bigger kitchen. Since he does most of the cooking--partly because he enjoys it more than Sarah does and partly because she works longer hours than he does--he's the one who waxes poetic about having more room to work, a double-basin sink, and a dishwasher. He especially likes to serve their meals buffet-style on the little island in the center of the kitchen, leaving them more room on the table while they dine.

Much more space in the new kitchen than their former tiny apartment.

Sarah thought she might prefer to use the guest bathroom for showering, due to the extra-roominess of the combined tub/shower. However, it turns out that the shower in their master bath was just right and meets with her approval.

The guest bathroom

After checking out the interior of the house, we all marched outdoors to see the changes there. Sarah has a few ideas of her own regarding how she wants the exterior to look when they're done but, again, Chris is the one who is truly excited. He's already borrowed several of my yard tools to get started.

Welcoming chairs by the front door, just inside the enclosed porch.

Their biggest project was getting a good chain-link fence around the property. They had no fenced yard at their apartment, so whenever Sarah and Chris were working, poor Diego had to stay in his 10' x 10' kennel or stay with a pet-sitter (usually Chris's mom or me). In fact, until this week, since they all moved into the new house, Diego spent most of his days with me (I do have a fenced yard) while Sarah and Chris went to work. So the kids were anxious to fence-in the yard, to give Diego his own spacious area in which to safely play whenever they had to be away from home. 

A brand-new gate on the north side of the house.

The new five-feet tall, sturdy chain-link fence was finally completed this weekend, at a cost of about $1,900. Fortunately, they didn't need to fence the north and south property lines of the yard, since their neighbors on both sides had already put up wood fences. There was also a fence of sorts on the back property line, to the west, but Sarah didn't trust it to securely keep Diego from escaping. It appeared to be homemade, with metal stakes and rabbit-wire that was already leaning drunkenly, as if it might topple in a strong wind.

A brand-new 5-foot-tall fence on the south side of the house.

Thus, they had the fence company install a wide gate at the front of the north side of the house and a short section of fence at the front of the south side of the house, and then a long segment along the back. You can see the old fencing in the picture below, still standing. Since no one was able to locate the water line--not even the water company, who claimed they didn't provide water to their area (yet sends them a monthly bill)--the fence company moved the fence inward about five feet (in essence, cutting off five feet of Sarah and Chris's yard) to be certain they didn't cut into a water pipe. They even had to remove one of the small trees.

I told Sarah to tell the water company to stop sending them bills if they aren't the ones providing their water. I was only half-joking. Imagine a water company not knowing where all their lines are!

And a brand-new fence along the back (west side) of the property.

Chris's mom, Brenda, gave them this patio table and chairs for

their back patio. She recently sold her own home and is downsizing.

Sarah gave Chris orders to move this plant to the front of the house.

Everyone comes back inside to visit for a while. Notice 11-year-old

Diego the dog and Frodo the guinea pig (in cage) in the foreground.

We spent a little over an hour visiting before we headed home for our own dinner. It was great to see the changes the kids have made and how much they're enjoying having their own place. It was also fun to see Diego and Frodo and the newest member of the family, three-month-old calico kitten, Rosie Cotton.

Sarah with her new baby, Rosie.

For those who've wondered  about the name choice, Rosie Cotton was a minor character in The Lord of the Rings. Rosie was the love interest of Frodo's devoted friend, Sam Gamgee, but Sam was too shy to even speak to her. Until he returned home from their adventure, that is. Then he realized that it's a mistake to let the good things in life pass you by, and he not only spoke to Rosie Cotton, but he married her!

Chris and I are both big fans of the works of J.R.R. Tolkien.

They did consider other names--Jacki Lantern and Candy Corn--but Rosie Cotton won out. Rosie is slightly cross-eyed, which is simply adorable. She's quickly overcoming her shyness and letting out her inner huntress. We enjoyed watching her stalk her toys and Diego's tail. She still likes to hide sometimes, too, like when strange visitors intrude, such as Mark and me. But she was fun and helped make our visit even more interesting!

Rosie Cotton enjoys a relaxing massage from Chris.

Birthday Boys

The last time Dylan and Jacob shared a birthday party was in 2009,

nine whole years ago, for Jacob's 18th and Dylan's 12th birthdays!

I've written in the past about the fact that all three of the men in my family have their birthdays over a ten-day period, each five days apart: Mark on June 21st (last Thursday), Jacob on June 26th (today), and Dylan on July 1st (this coming Sunday). I've also mentioned how we combine Mark's birthday and Father's Day every year since they are never more than six days apart. However, I've always been conscientious about celebrating Jacob's and Dylan's big days separately despite the fact that their birthdays are only five days apart. I felt it was important that they each knew their own birthdates were of consequence.

The big exception to that was in 2009, when Jacob turned eighteen and Dylan turned twelve. It wasn't me who planned their joint birthday party. Rather, Jacob suggested it and Dylan loved the idea because he totally looked up to his big brother. And Jacob put it all together, planning a barbecue and games and inviting friends for both himself and Dylan. It was a memorable experience for both boys.

On June 22, 2018, Jacob and Dylan once again shared a birthday cake 

at a combined party for Jacob's 27th and Dylan's 21st birthdays.

This year, nine years later, we again had a family party that combined both boys' birthdays. We began with a celebration of their dad's fiftieth birthday on Father's Day a week ago, and things rolled on from there when Jacob drove up from Mesa with Mark and me on Thursday night. On Friday, although Jacob's birthday was still four days away and Dylan's was still nine days away, we knew that Jacob had to return to the Valley on Saturday. Thus, we only had the whole family together for the two days of Jacob's visit in which to celebrate together. (Plus, Dylan and Jake may be in Mesa on Dylan's birthday, but I will not.)

June 22, 2018: Our whole family together at El Rancho for dinner. 

Left to right: Chris, Mark, Mary, Jacob, Jake, Dylan, and Sarah.

And Jacob and Dylan still doing the silly-brothers-thing after all this time.

After spending most of the day together, we began the celebration on Friday evening at our traditional birthday restaurant, El Rancho. Since El Rancho will provide free deep-fried ice cream for only one birthday boy (or girl) per meal, the guys voted unanimously to let this dinner be for their dad, whose birthday had fallen on the previous day.

Mark gets the sombrero, free ice cream, and a song from El Rancho's staff.

So, at the end of the meal, the restaurant's staff came out to sing "Happy Birthday" to Mark and present him with a sparkler-festooned margarita-glass of deep-fried ice cream. He took a few bites before passing it around the table to share, but most of us were too stuffed with chimichangas (or, in my lone case, enchiladas) to have room for even a tiny bite of ice cream.

Jacob and Dylan's gifts await them.

Then we went back to my house to start Jacob and Dylan's party. We enjoyed watching them open their gifts, and then we visited awhile, until we felt we might have room for a slice of birthday cake. That took quite a long while!

Dylan and Jacob are ready to start opening their birthday presents.

Dylan opens a card from his dad and reads it aloud.

Then it's Jacob's turn to share his card from Dad.

Mark gave each of his sons a $25 Walmart gift card. And

Jacob gave Mark a belated gift card for Father's Day and his birthday.

Sarah and Chris were tricky. They gave Jacob and Dylan gift cards

but hid them in boxes of Rice-a-Roni and macaroni-and-cheese.

It was fun watching the guys try to guess from shaking the boxes.

There was a lot of exchanging of gift cards this year, which we all joked about. "Hey, you could have saved your money: 'Here's twenty bucks, happy birthday,' and then hand it back, 'Hey, here's twenty bucks for you!'" In reality, Dylan's cell phone was dying and he wanted money he could use to buy a new one, so it was a practical gift for him. As for Jacob, after a big move and settling into a new and needy house, you can't go wrong with money!

Being "old school," I gave my sons gifts instead of gift cards.

I still believe in actual presents, though. Since Jacob is big into wolves, I bought him a wolf clock for his new house. To Dylan, who tragically lost his and Jake's beloved kitten Zelda four months ago, I gave a ceramic keepsake of a kitten and paw prints on a crescent moon emblazoned with the words "I love you to the moon and back," which happened to be the theme of Dylan and Jake's wedding.

A better closeup of my gift to Dylan.

Jacob and Dylan with their birthday ice-cream-cake.

Eventually, everyone except Dylan decided they had just enough room for a tiny slice of cake. It was actually an Oreo ice cream cake, the flavor both Jacob and Dylan had agreed upon. (Dylan came back for his slice the following day.) Not too long after that, the party broke up and everyone went their separate ways for the night. Jacob visited at Dylan and Jake's place for a while before returning to Sarah and Chris's new home to sleep on the futon in one of their extra bedrooms. (They couldn't ever say that until a month ago!)

On Saturday, we were able to enjoy more time together before Jacob left for the Valley, except for Jake, who unfortunately had to work. After a stop at Walmart to purchase painting supplies (Jacob is gung-ho to patch the walls and paint his living room), we went to China Wok around 2:30 for a late lunch. Then Jacob was on his way.

What a great blessing to have my whole family back to living in the same state. I look forward to many more opportunities to celebrate together over the coming years!

One last meal together, at China Wok, before Jacob returns to Mesa.

Dylan and Jacob on June 23, 2018.

Entitlement

The mess still blocking the Mesa house's driveway on June 20, 2018.

Last week, on Wednesday and Thursday, Mark and I drove down to Mesa again. Mark had some business there on Wednesday, and I wanted to make a little more progress on the house we inherited while we were there. Especially, I wanted to clear out the mess of dumped furniture left behind by the former "tenants" when we'd evicted them three weeks earlier.

Unfortunately, we didn't make as much progress as I'd intended. For one thing, Jacob worked both days we were there (his days off being Friday and Saturday), and since he's gone from about 9:00 in the morning to 7:00 in the evening, there wasn't much opportunity to involve him in our plans. For another, we ran into interference from the former "tenants."

I rented this U-Haul truck on Wednesday to haul away the junk.

The five adults who'd been living rent-free in this house for the past six years were finally evicted on Thursday, May 31st. By law, I could not dispose of the possessions they left behind until twenty-one days had passed. Those twenty-one days ended on Thursday, June 21st. Thus, I rented a truck on Wednesday so I could haul away their stuff--which we'd cleared out of the house and piled in front of the garage--on Thursday, as soon as I could legally do so. 

Although I'll have to rent a roll-off dumpster (for about $300) to clear the rest of the property (the trash heaped throughout the garage, side-yard, and backyard being pretty much indescribable), I figured we could at least clear the space in the driveway with just two loads to the dump. Since we'd already hauled away about two-thirds of the rubbish they'd left in the house, which truly was damaged too badly to be of use or was just-plain-old-garbage, the stack in the driveway wasn't quite as enormous as it could have been.

My plan would have worked, too, except...

Jacob and Mark get more than half the pile loaded onto the truck.

When Jacob got home on Wednesday, we went to Boston Market for dinner and then went back to the house so Jacob and Mark could load the truck with as much stuff as possible. They got all three rickety dressers on board, although each one fell apart a little more in the process, plus two twin mattresses, a broken television, several bags of various smaller kitchen/bathroom/bedroom items, and about half the ratty old books we'd found. (I admit, it does go against the grain for me to throw away books...)

It was after 10:00 when we went back inside, where we wrestled to install an uncooperative new garbage disposal in the kitchen (the old one sounded like it was grinding rocks). About half an hour later, my twenty-year-old nephew Julien arrived and helped us get the disposal locked into place. Julien and his dog, Porsche, a beautiful red and white pit bull, moved in on Monday to become Jacob's new roommates. On this particular night, though, Julien collected a few things and left sometime after 11:30 to spend the night at the home of his girlfriend's family, giving up his bed to Mark.

No sooner had Julien left than there was a loud knock at the door. Keep in mind that it's now nearly midnight. It was one of the former tenants, who'd been informed that we were loading up their things. He claimed that we hadn't waited the full twenty-one days, falsely stating that the eviction was signed by the constable on June 5th. He even admitted that he had been taking pictures of the load on the truck to prove that we were taking their property away illegally.

In an instant, I went from trying-to-be-nice mode to full-on you-don't-want-to-play-that-game-with-me mode. I told him in no uncertain terms that the constable signed the eviction on May 31st and offered to show it to him. Make no mistake, tomorrow will be twenty-one days, I said. Strangely enough, he didn't seem interested in seeing the documentation. Then I told him firmly that I'd paid for the rental truck and it was going to haul something away tomorrow. 

I gave him until 11:00 the next morning to take the stuff he wanted off the truck and anything else from the garage or yard. "Believe me," I assured him, "it's not like I don't want you to come and get your stuff. Everything you take is something I don't have to pay to haul off myself. But this stuff has to go so we can do what we need to do to make repairs, so we aren't waiting anymore." 

We talked outside with him for close to an hour. He explained how he and their group were living in a single hotel room because they couldn't qualify for housing, since only one of them has a job. I am sympathetic to their situation, but... Putting aside the fact that they told me back in April that they all had jobs and could pay me $700 in monthly rent if I let them stay (simply a delay tactic, I now see), one has to wonder why only one of five able-bodied adults can find a job. 

The answer has become clear over the past several weeks: drugs and the attendant sense of entitlement. Why find a job when you feel entitled to having other people take care of your needs, while you pursue your addictions? In six years, they not only paid no rent, but also allowed the house to fall into disrepair and filth and roach infestation, while loading it up with more and more hoarded garbage. And now, having been deprived of their free lodgings, they can't understand why I shouldn't provide them with free storage for as long as they wish.

All loaded up and ready to go on Thursday morning.

On Thursday morning, which happened to be Mark's 50th birthday, he and I went to breakfast at Denny's before doing some shopping at Walmart and Home Depot (plumbing supplies this time). It was exactly 11:37 when we pulled up at the house to find this guy again hovering around the loaded truck. There was a note under the windshield wiper, which I didn't read until after he left.

He insisted that he had a friend coming with a truck to take away their stuff, if we'd just wait an hour or two. I told him if the truck wasn't there by 1:00, we were leaving for the landfill. I hated to wait so long, since the truck had to be returned at 4:00, but I felt I had no choice. So far, all the former tenants' promises had been empty, but just in case they were serious this time... Plus, the constable had signed the paper at 1:30 p.m. on May 31st, so I supposed that I couldn't technically consider the twenty-one days complete until 1:30.

So, Mark and I waited...and waited...and waited. At 1:15, Mark went out to secure the load with the ratchet-tie-downs we'd bought. Meanwhile, I made a short video as evidence that we'd waited the full twenty-one days, right down to 1:30, before we took away their now-abandoned property. In fact, it was 1:40 when we drove away from the house. I will post the video to my Facebook page. Kind of amusing, now.

Unfortunately, with the late start, we ran out of time to load up and haul off the rest of the junk in the driveway. There wasn't that much left. Just two larger mattresses, a torn-up love seat, a bin filled with magazines (many featuring sex and drug themes), two small mirror-topped tables, the other half of the ratty book collection, and more bags. With an extra half-hour, we could have done it. It was disappointing, but we called it quits and cleaned up the remaining piles the best we could. Two days later, a man driving by stopped and asked Julien if he might take the old, roach-infested appliances away (to sell for scrap-metal, I'm sure), and Julien said he could. So I'm sure the mess is somewhat less annoying to the neighbors now than it was previously.

When we left Mesa on Thursday evening, the disposal was installed

but the plumbing still needed to be worked out.

Jacob drove up to Lakeside with us, in his own car, on Thursday night so he could enjoy his days off with family. We spent that time celebrating Mark's birthday, as well as  Jacob's and Dylan's upcoming birthdays, but that's a matter for a later post. The reality of all the work ahead to restore the Mesa house gets quite overwhelming at times, so his visit gave us a much-needed break to just be together and relax.

We will press on. And we won't be distracted by empty promises and delay tactics anymore!

It's Not All Bad

Jacob checks out the Phoenix office of Progrexion, where he'll

now be working after being at the Salt Lake City office for a year.

Most of the information I've shared about the Mesa house, with the costs and hassles of eviction, clean-up, repairs, replacements, and improvements needed, has been pretty much of a "downer." In this post, I'd like to focus on the positive aspects of the week I spent in Mesa dealing with this whole issue (two weeks ago).

First and foremost, as I've already shared, I'm thrilled to have Jacob back in Arizona. It's also great that we are able to provide an affordable place for him to live while he helps us fix the house up and make it the nice home it has the potential to be again, as it was when his great-grandma Helen was alive. Furthermore, I'm excited that he wants to buy the house himself and keep it in the family. We made a lot of memories there when the kids were younger.

The Progrexion office building is located in Deer Valley (north Phoenix).

On Saturday morning, the day after the rest of our family returned to Lakeside, Jacob and his aunt and cousin worked hard in the heat to load more rubbish into the moving van, and then they drove out to Salt River Landfill to dump it. While they were gone, I went shopping with Wilma's thirteen-year-old grandson, Thomas, before returning to the house to await the security company, who was supposed to install Jacob's security system (but couldn't, due to the powerless transformer). I also spent time cleaning out the pantry and lining the shelves with contact paper.

I must pause here to share a story. I'd offered Thomas ten dollars to help carry bags of trash out to the truck. Wilma offered him an additional three dollars, and he was quite excited at the prospect of spending his earnings when we went to Walmart. He went on at length about video games and other electronic toys. I warned him that the game system he wanted was hundreds of dollars more expensive than the thirteen dollars he had to spend, but he was undaunted.

Once we were at Walmart, Thomas dragged me right over to the electronics section and told me he wanted this particular gaming system, which cost in the neighborhood of $500. I explained that he didn't have enough to buy it, but he was beaming with confidence when he pointed out that, after he paid them his thirteen dollars, it wouldn't be as expensive for me to buy. That's when I realized that Thomas, who has autism, didn't fully comprehend the value of money. It was so sweet and funny at the same time. I did end up spending almost twenty dollars on a toy rifle with soft darts, but I felt he was worth it.

The main entrance to Progrexion, an affiliate of Lexington Law Firm.

By the time Saturday afternoon rolled around, Jacob and I were both beat. We were exhausted after two days of excessive heat and hard labor. It was time for a break. Around 3:00, he hopped into the now-empty truck  and I followed him in my car to the heart of Phoenix, where he returned the truck to Penske. 

From there, we headed north to Deer Valley so we could check out the offices of Progrexion, where Jacob would be working from then on, starting the following Monday. As you can see from the photos above, it's a beautiful building. Although the place was mostly deserted, we were able to get inside and look around. Jacob was impressed, telling me it was much larger and fancier than even their corporate office in Salt Lake City, where he's been working since November.

For those who wonder what Jacob does at Progrexion... It all began fourteen months ago, when Jacob decided he was tired of battling petty administrative problems at Walmart, where he'd been a customer service manager for more than three years. In May 2017, he was hired by Lexington Law, a consumer advocacy law firm located in Salt Lake City, with branches scattered around the country. After Jacob was trained and certified as a paralegal, he spent his days taking calls from people who were interested in the credit repair services offered by Lexington's team of lawyers. It was his job to explain the program to them, helping the callers understand what the company could do to help them repair their poor credit. He enjoyed the relaxed nature of the job and the good pay, but it still wasn't quite his dream career.

During his six months at Lexington, he began to hear about the sales division that provided the law firm with potential clients: Progrexion. Jacob loves sales jobs (I'll never understand it, myself; I even failed at selling Avon in the 1970s). Every year he won the award for most popcorn sales in cub scouts. He was a top seller for every school fundraiser. He had no fear of approaching total strangers and asking them to buy something they didn't really need, costing more than it was worth. And, the crazy thing is, they bought it! I don't know if it was his thoughtful, quiet manner or those big, sincere green eyes, but most everyone bought from him. After his mission, he worked in a series of retail jobs, including a car dealership, but he was in a wandering mood at that time and didn't stay with any job too long over a period of a year and a half.

The opportunities offered at Progrexion, though, fired up his old interests. The high commission rates and the chance to be involved in sales again persuaded him to apply at Lexington's sister company. With the blessing of his former supervisor at Lexington, Jacob was hired at Progrexion in November, seven months ago. And he's loving it. He doesn't do "cold calls," where telemarketers call random numbers trying to sell something to people who haven't asked for it. Instead, he takes calls from people with low credit scores, high debt, and bankruptcies who are already looking for someone to help them repair their credit. His six months at Lexington created a great foundation for the current job, because he truly understands the processes required to force creditors to correct inaccurate credit information.

And, if you're good at sales, it pays well. Jacob says, "I'll never again work a job that doesn't pay commissions!" (I feel the exact opposite...) He told me one day last week that he'd made eleven sales, earning himself $400 for that one day. That was at least the second time, that I know of. To Jacob, a bad day is when he only makes four sales...even though that still works out to about $18.50 per hour! On top of that, Progrexion provides the same relaxed, supportive work environment he'd enjoyed at Lexington, so it's a win-win.

We went to dinner at this Scottsdale restaurant, Chart House.

Eventually, we left Progrexion and continued southeast to Scottsdale, where we arrived ten minutes ahead of our 5:30 dinner reservation at Chart House. This is one of those fancy establishments frequented by the financially well-off, since the average cost for one meal was about $42.00. Some went as high as $85.00.

I know this may come as a surprise, but I am not rich. Not even close. I know, I know, after a dazzling, twenty-seven year career as a teacher, I should be rolling in the dough, but alas...no.

We were given a table by the window, overlooking the water.

The only reason we were able to afford dinner at this restaurant was a perk of my stay at the WorldMark Scottsdale resort earlier in the week. In order to persuade club owners to attend an "informational presentation" (actually a thinly-veiled sales pitch), WorldMark by Wyndham offers incentives, which I usually take. In this case, they gave me a $25.00 voucher for Chart House and an American Express card loaded with $75.00. I never say no to free food!

Our table had a "VIP" card. The salad bar was well-stocked. 

I generally feel out of place at these high-class establishments, even though it's also fun to pretend you have enough money in the bank to legitimately be there. I feel like a rube and a clod, as if everyone in the place is watching to see if I drool or eat with the wrong fork. Nonetheless, the maitre d' greeted us as if we were royalty and led us to our table, one of the best in the house, overlooking the blue lake on the golf course where the restaurant is located. There was even a VIP card on our table. At first I thought they must do that to make all their customers feel important, but then I looked around and didn't see any others on the tables around us. 

Jacob had prime rib, I had filet mignon, and Yukon Gold garlic mashed potatoes.

The meat was so tender it practically melted in our mouths.

I finally realized what it was when our waiter took our order. He mentioned that "our special hot chocolate lava cake has already been ordered for you, courtesy of your concierge." Concierge? What concierge? Then I remembered the man in the lobby of WorldMark who had actually called Chart House and made our reservation for us. I remembered he said something about us being valued guests or something. Now it made sense. WorldMark must send a lot of patrons their way, and Chart House responds by treating those guest as truly honored VIPs. In my solidly middle-class mind, it's kind of silly, but it was also kind of nice for one hour of my life.

The hot chocolate lava cake was the best I've ever eaten!

The waiter was young and handsome, and he hovered attentively over us the entire time we were there. In fact, he seemed so interested in us, you'd have almost thought we were Mary and Jacob Kardashian. However, he was pretty down-to-earth. He told us how he'd moved to Arizona from northern California recently, because the cost of living there was out of control. His girlfriend's parents were also preparing to make the leap, as more and more people are following suit. We told him how Jacob lived in that area during his mission and how we vacationed there just last October.

Jacob's eye-rolling expression says it all: "To die for!"

At the end of our meal, we soon learned that they hadn't exaggerated the excellence of their lava cake. We were brought one lava cake to share (price, paid by WorldMark: $11.50), and it was unbelievably decadently delectable. Indescribable. From the Heath Bar crumbles scattered over the top, to the hot chocolate sauce that oozed thickly from inside, it was total perfection.

In the end, even with the $100 worth of voucher and American Express card, we still had a bill for $13. Add to that a $20 tip and our $33 charges were roughly the size of a two-person bill at restaurants we normally patronize. Not too shabby.

Jacob at least had his living room in place when I left to come home.

That's Jacob's dog, Razz (Razzmatazz), with his squeaky toy, Foxy.

While Jacob was at his first day of work in Deer Valley on Monday, I worked hard on getting his living room up to snuff. The house was definitely becoming more livable (or so we thought until he discovered the cockroaches two days later), but I wanted him to have at least one room that was all his for now. Since his bedroom was where we'd stacked all his boxes, that left the living room.

Even though the flooring in the living room is going to be hauled off soon, I moved the furniture around and swept and mopped the floor well. Again, it took multiple Swiffer cloths before they stopped coming up black. All Jacob had were his two love-seat-size couches, his wolf artwork, and the faux-fireplace entertainment center for his TV. So I drove over to Deseret Industries while he was at work and bought him a small table for $12.00. I placed it between the two couches so there'd be a place for his very cool wolf-lamp. I thought it looked quite nice when it was all done.

If you think Jacob is all about wolves, you're correct!

He claims that his spirit animal is the wolf. (That stuff 

stacked on the left is mine. It came back home with me.)

One last thing. I mentioned that I'd cleaned out the pantry. That included the floor inside the pantry, still covered with the ancient, original linoleum that was the kitchen floor back in Helen's day. It was sticky and stained with some mysterious black gunk, and it took a long time to scrub it off, but once it was clean, seeing that old pattern brought back so many memories.

Later in the day, I went to the pantry to get something I'd placed inside. As I opened the door, the scent that wafted out smelled exactly like the pantry of Helen's time. The memories it triggered almost knocked me off my feet, as I was transported back in time to when my kids were small and we came to spend a weekend every month or two, because Helen was my children's favorite person in the entire world. She did our laundry and fed us and spent every moment possible with the grandchildren she adored. Those were the days when my children would start chanting as soon as we reached the freeway exit near her house: "Grand-ma's house! Grand-ma's house!"

A while later, Jacob went to the pantry to grab something. As soon as he opened the door, he stopped and looked at me in wonder. "That's Grandma's house!" he exclaimed. He told me the other day that he still gets that sensation every time he opens that door. It reminds him what all our work is for.

Mark and I will be heading back to Mesa tomorrow, partly to take care of some business for Mark, and partly to spend two days doing more work on the house. I can't wait to have Mark stand in front of the pantry and open up that magical door...

Happy Father's/Birth/Day

June 17, 2018: Mark celebrates Father's Day and his 50th birthday.

Fifty years ago this coming Thursday, June 21st, Mark was born in Davenport, Iowa. He is more stunned than anyone that he's been alive for a whole half-century, given the myriad bad choices he's made throughout most of his life. Quite frankly, he never believed he'd make it to his 40th birthday, let alone ten years beyond. Nonetheless, here he is now, more than six years clean and sober, finding that he's really enjoying the life he knows today.

We were also a little shocked when Sarah commented, "I can't believe my dad is only ten years older than my husband." What?? But she's right. Mark turns 50 this week, and Chris turned 40 in March. (Sarah is 28.) So odd to think that Chris is closer in age to Mark than I am, with me being almost 14 years older than Mark. 

Mark requested Sarah's Mexican chicken casserole for his special dinner.

The last time Mark had a family birthday party in our home that wasn't combined with a Father's Day celebration was way back in June 1989, four months before Sarah was born. Since he became a father, we've always combined the two, since Father's Day always falls between June 15th and Mark's actual birthdate, June 21st. This year was no different.

I asked Mark what he'd like for his celebration dinner and dessert. He chose Sarah's most famous dish, Mexican chicken casserole. I was down with that, since it's a family favorite, plus it meant I didn't have to do the cooking! The 9 x 13 pan of deliciousness disappeared in no time flat. Scraped clean.

For dessert, he asked for an ice cream cake. Specifically, he chose a banana-split flavored ice cream cake, since he's a connoisseur of fine banana splits.

Most of Mark's gifts and cards.

After dinner, it was time to open gifts. This time, instead of taking a picture of Mark alone with all of his gifts, I decided to take pictures of Mark with his gifts and each of the givers, so at some future time we can have fun seeing who gave him what.

Mark wrestles through the tape on one of my gifts.

Jacob lives closer now, but still not close enough to drop in for our party. He did call his dad today to wish him a happy Father's Day. After they were done, I took the phone, and Jacob told me what he's thinking of buying for his dad. Jacob plans to drive up and join us this Thursday night, to spend Friday and Saturday here with us (those are his days off). He'll bring Mark's gift with him then.

Mark loves his chocolate. This was from Sarah and Chris.

Dylan presents his dad with his gift: a new fishing license.

Sarah and Chris with Mark and their gifts to him: the Mr. Goodbar candy,

a $30 Walmart gift card, and a monkey card that Mark thought was hilarious.

It's so hard to buy gifts for adults! I decided on the Jenga game because our kids love playing games together, but Mark rarely joins in. He enjoys card games and dice games of chance, but if it requires reading or solving clues or designing strategies, he's not interested. I figured Jenga was more about action, with opportunities for laughter that we could all share. When he opened it, I was surprised to find out that Mark has never played Jenga before. It just might turn out to be a good game for some family hilarity!

Mary with Mark and her gifts to him: a "Punisher" tee-shirt,

a 1-lb bag of mini-Snickers bars, and a Jenga game.

Our weekly Sunday dinners are always fun, but it's even more special when there's someone to celebrate. Despite the long-time addictions that haunted our seventeen-year marriage, I can honestly say that Mark was a good dad. He was very hands-on with our kids, getting down on the floor to work and play with them, changing diapers, sharing his food with them, cleaning up their messes, taking them to the park or fishing or shopping, and overall enjoying being together. He rarely had the heart to even discipline them, so Daddy was always their favorite (making me the "mean" parent, lol). He was so proud of our kids, and they loved to be with him.

Happy Father's Day, and happy birthday, Mark!

This was a random picture by Dylan, but I'm adding it because it seems to 

capture one of those typical at-home moments. Mark is taking his gifts to

his room, Chris is eating a slice of ice cream cake, and I am...not sure what!