June 22, 2019: All three of my birthday boys, with sister Sarah.
Or, to put it another way, Mark with all three of his children.
It took some planning, but we managed to get everyone together this weekend to celebrate the birthdays of both my sons and their father. All three men have their birthdays within a ten-day period. Mark turned 51 on June 21st. Five days later, Jacob turned 28 on June 26th (today). Five days after that, Dylan will be 22 on July 1st.
It's great to have Jacob living near enough to get together for these occasions, but it seemed like a lot of work to celebrate Mark in the mountains, then travel to Mesa five days later to party for Jacob, then return to the mountain for Dylan, while hoping Jacob might be able to make the trip here to celebrate just one or the other. Why not combine all three and make one trip?
The timing worked out well, since Dylan and Jake were already in the Valley the week before our gathering. They'd driven down the previous Sunday (June 16) because Jake's grandmother, great-aunt, and cousin were flying in the next day from their home in New York City to spend a week in the warm Arizona sun.
Chris had started a new job in a nursing home just a few days earlier, so he wasn't able to join us this trip. Thus, it was just Sarah, Mark, and me who drove down the mountain on Friday morning, the actual day of Mark's birthday. We left home a little after 9:00 a.m., made a rest stop in Payson, and then arrived at Jacob's house at 12:20.
Preparing my coffee table for transport from the den to the car
One thing that traveled with us from Lakeside to Mesa was my coffee table. It's a beautiful table, only six years old, which matches the two end tables still in my living room. Unfortunately, my house is so small ("cozy") that the large coffee table is just one piece of furniture too many, making the living room look crowded.
I hand-washed each coffee table tile individually in soapy water.
My first solution was to move it into the den that was once a bedroom for my sons. We've been working on a remodel, and I thought it would look nice with the new furniture. It did look nice, but it still left the small space looking overcrowded.
Besides, with a new television in the den, which Dylan hooked up to my gaming systems and a new DVD player, I intend to use that room to start working out to some dance DVDs. With the coffee table taking up half the available floor space, I knew I wouldn't be able to move around comfortably. (I could just imagine myself stumbling and falling on the table, damaging either myself or it!)
The coffee table fit in back without laying down the second-row seats.
I was pleasantly surprised!
In the end, I decided I'd just have to give the table away. Recently, I've been watching season one of Marie Kondo's TV show, Tidying Up, and I had to admit the lovely coffee table no longer "sparked joy" for me. It had to go.
As luck would have it, I'd mentioned my plan when Jacob was in town five weeks earlier (after my kidney-stone-inspired emergency room visit) and he immediately told me he wanted the table. Both Sarah's and Dylan's living rooms are furnished, but I'd forgotten that Jacob's home in Mesa wasn't fully furnished yet. After taking quick measurements, it was clear the table wouldn't fit into his VW Jetta, so we agreed to take it to him when we drove down for the birthday party.
The coffee table is a perfect fit for Jacob's living room in Mesa.
As always, our stay in Mesa was a whirlwind of activity. As soon as we'd unloaded the car , we were on our way to run errands. One huge plus for this trip was the weather. After an extreme heatwave the previous weeks, the temperature had dropped to a very manageable high of 98-to-104 degrees during our two days there. I might not have fled to the mountains in 1990 if the summer temps were always so mild. But I'm glad I did.
Our first stop was the VW dealership, where Jacob needed to finish up some business for the new car he bought a couple of weeks ago. Recently, he took his leased Jetta in to be serviced, only to discover there were problems with his lease that promised to cause major headaches in the not-too-distant future. (I'd tried to warn him about leasing a car...) So he traded it in early and bought a 2019 VW Tiguan, which is an SUV with third-row seats, similar to my Chevy Traverse.
It's a beautiful car, but a little too rich for my blood! I'd rather have a lower payment than all the "bells and whistles." In fact, just two days ago, I made my final payment on my 2009 Traverse (which I bought used in February 2016), paying it off 20 months ahead of schedule. What a sense of freedom that gives!
Jacob's new 2019 Volkswagen Tiguan.
Our next stop was a bittersweet one. My dear friend Gwen had sent me a text just four days earlier, telling me that she'd been placed in hospice and wasn't expected to live much longer. It took some searching to discover where she was, but we found her and spent about an hour with her on Friday afternoon. All three of her children were with her, including her daughter Becky from California and her older son and his wife all the way from Georgia, but they kindly gave us the room so we could say our goodbyes.
Becky had told us that her mom was heavily sedated and faded in and out of consciousness, but we were blessed to find her awake and in good spirits when we arrived. Gwen and I have shared many adventures since we met in the autumn of 2006, right after my first divorce. We have so much in common, we could talk about anything for hours--and often did! My children love her as much as I do. Her huge, giving heart, her colorful way of expressing herself, her humorous view of the world, and her lovely Southern accent are so endearing to us. In fact, one of the main characters in my book, which I will finish writing someday, is based on, and named for, my sweet Gwen.
We had a wonderful visit, enjoying our shared memories and sometimes laughing louder than was probably appropriate. Gwen told us the doctors said she didn't have much longer, but she hadn't received her own spiritual confirmation of that, so she hadn't quite accepted it. I told her we'd continue to pray for a miracle, but if God called her home, we'd be reunited soon enough. She's only four years older than me, after all, and I know she'll be there waiting to embrace me when I pass through the veil. God bless and embrace our dear Gwen.
[Update: Gwen passed away five days after our visit with her, in the late afternoon of June 26th. She will be sorely missed. We love you, dear friend, and we will be with you again one day!]
From the hospice center, we drove on to Golden Corral Buffet, where we met up with Dylan and Jake and Jake's family from the Bronx in New York City: his grandmother, Lena (whom I'd met once before, when she came for a visit in October 2016); Lena's sister, Jake's Great-Aunt Bruni; and Bruni's gorgeous (like-a-model gorgeous) daughter, Jake's cousin Victoria. The food was plentiful and delicious, as it always is, but the best part was getting to know Jake's family, who have become, by extension, our family.
We had more time to get to know each other after dinner, when Dylan decided to wait out the rush-hour traffic before heading back to their resort in Phoenix. They all came back to Jacob's house with us, where we spent a couple more hours talking and laughing. It's amazing how we can grow up on opposite sides of the continent and still have so much in common!
I'd intended to go shopping that evening for breakfast foods and party goods, but Jacob pleaded exhaustion, so we put it off for the next day. We were all in bed by 11:30.
Oh, the interesting things you can see in Mesa, like a mannequin girlfriend!
On Saturday morning, Jacob made us all pancakes for breakfast before we headed out to do more errands. Our first stop was Jacob's credit union in east Mesa, where he took care of some banking. Jacob had just rejoined Sarah, Mark, and me in the car, when I looked up and saw a classic white convertible pull into the parking lot. Behind the wheel was an older, husky, white-haired gentleman who was chatting with his passenger, a much younger, brassy-haired blonde.
Then I did a double-take. The brassy blonde hair was a wig and the young lady was a mannequin! The man parked, got out of his convertible, and went into the credit union, leaving his companion to wait for him. She seemed to be a most patient lady. Never a dull moment in the big city!
Gifts for Mark, Jacob, and Dylan await in Jacob's kitchen.
We finished up with some shopping at El Super (best place to get carnitas-marinated beef) and Walmart, mostly to pick up the foods we needed for our barbecue later that afternoon. Plus, Jacob still needed to buy gifts for his dad and brother. Then we headed back to get ready for the party.
Sarah did most of the work in putting together a chunky potato salad, while Jacob cut up vegetables and grilled the beef for carne asada tacos. Our original plan had been to simply grill steaks to eat with potato salad, but that was when we thought there would be only six of us at the party. When the number swelled to more than a dozen, we'd had to rethink the expense of steaks for so many. Jacob suggested tacos, which would stretch the meat much further. And who doesn't like tacos?
Besides several of Jacob's friends and roommates joining us, Jake's family was still in town. His grandmother, Lena, his cousin Victoria, and his great-aunt Bruni had extended their stay an extra day, making them available to join the birthday party. And we were so happy they did! I enjoyed the opportunities we had to get to know them better, and it was especially fun to hear their stories in that delightful Bronx accent. Truly good people!
The group gift opening: Mark, Dylan, and Jacob (from the left).
As soon as the food was ready, we started in on the tacos and potato salad, as well as the tortilla chips and spinach-and-artichoke dip, brought by Jacob's friends, which was yummy. I only had one taco and a small helping of potato salad, because I knew what was coming next and I wanted to save room!
After lunch was cleared away, Sarah and I started on a freezer full of my homemade strawberry ice cream. Meanwhile, Jacob's friend and soon-to-be roommate Chandler brought us a big cheesecake from Costco, totally the best cheesecake I've ever tasted, rivaling even my favorite from Cheesecake Factory. (Jacob's roommate Antonio is moving back to Utah next week, so Chandler will be moving into the empty bedroom after that.)
Mark shows off his birthday presents.
Once the ice cream freezer was churning away, we turned our attention to the birthday presents. The guys all lined up in the living room and took turns opening their gifts, one at a time, oldest-to-youngest. Which, coincidentally, is the order in which their birthdays fall!
Mark got a gift card to Papa John's Pizza from Sarah and Chris, which Sarah had hidden in a box filled with six bottles of Pepsi and a roll of toilet paper. (That sneakiness is kind of her thing, haha!) Jacob gave him a pair of special sunglasses for fishing. He received a Metallica tee-shirt from Dylan and Jake. And I gave him a hand-carved, trout-shaped frame, holding a photo of Mark posing with a 22-lb catfish he caught many years ago. (Ugliest fish I ever saw.)
Jacob displays his cards and gifts.
Jacob got a gift card to several nice Valley restaurants from Sarah and Chris, which Sarah had hid in a six-pack of Welch's strawberry-kiwi juice bottles. Dylan and Jake gave him a Resident Evil video game. He received a howling wolf incense burner called "smoking wolf" from Mark. And I gave him a sculpture of a wolf head to add to his growing collection of wolf memorabilia.
Dylan poses with the gifts he received for his early birthday.
Dylan asked for cash only this birthday. He wanted to buy a pair of high-tech sunglasses with built-in Bluetooth speakers for $200. Then he decided he wanted to use it to build his own lightsaber (also with a $200 price tag) when we go to Disneyland in November. Now, I think he's back to the Bluetooth shades. [Update: He bought the Bluetooth sunglasses.]
He ended up raking in $160, so he only has to kick in $40 of his own money, plus tax. Sarah's cash contribution was, of course, hidden in a box of Capri Suns.
The best store-bought cheesecake I ever tasted, from Costco!
Not long after the gift-opening, the ice cream freezer stopped and it was time for refreshments. And then, too soon, it was time to wind down the party and begin our farewells.
Jacob and a few of his friends had reservations to see the newly-released Toy Story 4, so they had to leave by 5:30. I took out my camera to capture a few family moments before they were gone, and then we had to say goodbye to Jake's family, too. They flew back to New York the next morning, but expressed their intention to return again in a year or so. (Jacob drove them to the airport, since Dylan and Jake had to return home for work.) They loved this part of Arizona, and they even thought the heat was wonderfully "dry." I told them we need to show them the Grand Canyon next time they're in town.
Jake with his grandmother, Lena; his cousin Victoria; and his Aunt Bruni.
Dylan and Jake drove Lena, Bruni, and Victoria back to their resort in Phoenix while Mark, Sarah, and I (now alone in Jacob's house) got all our stuff packed back up and loaded into my car. Dylan and Jake returned around 6:00, and then they followed us for the three-hour drive back home to the White Mountains, with another rest stop in Payson.
It was a little after 9:00 when we pulled into town. By then, it had been five hours since the barbecue and desserts, so we were hungry and decided to stop for a late dinner at Denny's. We enjoyed our last meal of the day together, but we were all very happy to be back in our own homes and our own beds by 10:30 that night.
Dylan joins the family photo: Bruni, Victoria, Lena, Jake, and Dylan.
What a crazy, busy, wonderful two days. Birthdays are fun. So are presents and good food. But nothing can compare to the warm feelings and deep joy of spending time with the family and friends we love!
