About a House

Grandma Helen's home in Mesa, from November 1979 to March 2011.

This photo was taken on May 3, 2018, seven years after Helen's death.

Here's some good advice: make sure you leave a will or, better yet, a trust that clearly spells out how you want your estate settled after your death, and then update it on a regular basis. Plan for all possible contingencies.

For the past three years, I've been working with Mark and his Aunt Wilma to settle the disposition of  two properties, which had been languishing in inheritance limbo since the death of Mark's Grandma Helen in March 2011. She had prepared and left a strong trust in place, but the circumstances she'd planned for (such as dying long before her two sons, Tim and Michael) did not pan out as expected, leaving a big black hole for her beneficiaries.

Mark's Grandma Helen and her son Tim (Mark's dad)

at Sarah's 12th birthday party in a Mesa park, Oct 27, 2001.

The two properties in question are next-door to each other. Helen and her husband, Lyle, bought the pink house shown above and moved there from Iowa in 1979. Lyle passed away about nine years later and Helen lived there as a widow until her death in 2011. Meanwhile, the older of Lyle and Helen's two sons, Tim (Mark's dad), continued to live in Lyle and Helen's "dream home" in Davenport, Iowa, which Helen continued to own.

Eventually, after Tim's wife (Mark's step-mom) passed away and Tim retired from his longtime job at John Deere, the Iowa house was sold and Tim bought the house right next-door to Helen's house in Mesa. It was a happy arrangement for both of them, as they supported each other throughout a variety of health issues over the years.

The Mesa home of Mark's dad, Tim. Helen's pink house is on the left.

This photo was taken on June 29, 2015, six years after Tim's death.

Tim left a will that declared Mark, his only child, to be the sole heir to his estate, including his house (pictured above). Helen had a trust set up, leaving her pink house to her younger son, Michael; $5,000 to each of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren; and everything else to be split between her sons, Tim and Michael. She named Tim as her executor, with Michael as the contingency executor, should Tim be unable to function in that capacity.

I tried to convince Helen, back when Mark and I were still married (we divorced in August 2006), that she should choose an outside party to act as executor, such as her lawyer. I pointed out that Tim and Michael were already quite competitive, and the division of the estate might create bad feelings that could destroy their relationship completely. I also felt that Michael was a bad choice to be placed in control of some pretty complex finances, given some shady, manipulative financial dealings in his past. For Helen, though, blood was thicker than water, and that was all that mattered.

March 25, 1995: Jacob and Sarah (ages 3 and 5) celebrate their

Great-grandma Helen's 68th birthday with her in her dining room.

The first glitch in the plan was Tim's unexpected death in 2009, two full years before Helen's death. It's unfortunate that she didn't revise her trust at this time, having lost her named executor. However, in her defense, she was seriously ill herself by this time, having had several strokes, and she was absolutely heartbroken by the death of her firstborn. 

Because Helen and Tim had comingled much of their properties prior to his death, Mark did not inherit his father's estate at this time. This is probably just as well, since Mark was still in and out of court and jail due to actively abusing drugs and alcohol during those years. Meanwhile, Michael and his wife Wilma had already moved themselves into Tim's house some time before he died, since Tim was spending most of his time at his mother's home, caring for her.

March 22, 1998: Sarah (age 8), Dylan (8 months old) and Jacob (age 6)

relax on the swing on Great-grandma Helen's back patio.

Thus, when Helen died in March 2011, her younger son Michael was left as executor. This was, as I'd predicted, merely an exercise in futility. Mark and I had been divorced for almost five years by now, and my contact with Mark's extended family was limited, so I was out of the loop. Nonetheless, I cringed when I got the news and felt sure that Mark would never see his share of his grandmother's estate (his dad's half that should have come to Mark as Tim's closest surviving descendant) or, worse yet, the full inheritance of Tim's estate that he had meant for Mark alone.

It is true that each of Helen's three grandchildren (Mark and his cousins Missy and Maryhelen) and five great-grandchildren (Missy's son, Maryhelen's son, and our three children) did receive their $5,000 bequests within the first year after Helen's death, but I strongly suspect that was because Michael's now-estranged wife, Wilma, had taken matters in hand. Michael had himself abdicated his responsibility, abandoning Wilma to live in a trailer with a new girlfriend, and leaving Wilma to continue living in Tim's house.

Meanwhile, both houses--Helen's and Tim's--were stuck in inheritance limbo, belonging to no one. Except, maybe, the county of Maricopa, to whom Wilma made timely property tax payments for both homes. I appreciate that she made that effort until Mark and I took over the property tax payments for Helen's house in 2015, when Mark came to stay with me and I became actively involved in the settlement of the estates

Helen at age 72, after her first stroke in August 1999, with

great-grandchildren Sarah (age 9), Jacob (age 8), and Dylan (age 2).

A second glitch in the process: Who gets which house? After Helen's death, Mark and Wilma made a verbal agreement to switch the houses they expected to inherit. Wilma had been settled in Tim's house for years at this point, and she'd recently gained custody of her grandson, who was about six at the time. She didn't really want to raise him in Helen's house, which had a pool.

As for Mark, who was raised by his Grandma Helen from infancy, her pink house had been his home for ten years before we got married. Then he and his girlfriend Diane had moved in to help care for Helen during the final months of her life, so they'd already been living there for some time when Helen passed away. Plus, Mark loved the pool. So, in 2015, during the first meeting with the family lawyer in which I participated, the agreement to trade properties was made legal, with a written statement signed by everyone.

Glitch number three: Michael's untimely death. Just sixteen months after Helen passed away, her younger son and executor, Michael, died a tragic death that was completely unanticipated. Alone in the trailer he shared with his girlfriend, without air conditioning during the hottest months of a Phoenix-area summer, Michael was found almost lifeless from hyperthermia. He died a day or two later in the hospital, in July 2012.

Now there was no executor and no family representative to carry out the terms of the will and trust. Mark had been sentenced to three years in prison and I was living far away in the White Mountains, raising my children and dealing with an abusive second husband. As far as I can tell, the probate proceeds came to a grinding halt in 2012.

The houses languished in the void until Mark was released from prison in April 2015. Due to the questionable ownership of Helen's house, Mark had nowhere to live other than a halfway house in Phoenix. He said if he went back to the Valley or to his ex-girlfriend Diane, he knew he'd end up back in prison. Having divorced the aforementioned abusive second husband by this time, I agreed to let Mark stay with me--as long as he quickly found a job and remained clean and sober. He has done both, faithfully, over the past three years.

Over those three years, Mark and I have made regular visits to the family lawyer, nudging the process along. Little by little, the attorney made progress in finding ways to satisfy the court without having to reopen probate, such as establishing Wilma and me as the new co-trustees. Finally, when we arrived at his office on March 2nd of this year, the lawyer stunned us with the news that it was done! With Mark's and Wilma's agreement, every member of the family signed documents deeding Tim's house to Wilma and Helen's house to me. I hadn't anticipated that, but the lawyer explained it made more sense for me to have the legal power to sell the house in Mark's behalf, since we all knew I'd be the one who handled it anyway. The deed was recorded in the county recorder's office on March 6 and--voila!--I own a second home.

As exciting as this all may appear, the fact is that the real work now begins. You see, Helen's house has not stood empty all these years, nor is it in the clean, well-maintained condition in which Helen kept it throughout the time it was her home. Quite the reverse.

The pool as of April 4, 2018. It was still in good condition after Helen died.

After Helen passed away in March 2011, Mark's addictions worsened exponentially, and he was arrested in September 2011. He didn't see freedom again until April 2015. However, his girlfriend Diane remained in Helen's house until August 2012. Diane initially asked Mark to give her his power of attorney, which he wisely refused to do, so she ignored him throughout his entire prison sentence. (Eventually, she tracked him down after he was released and insisted he get possession of the house so she could move back in. He said no, and we haven't heard from her since.)

Meanwhile, Diane was locked in a nasty feud with Mark's Aunt Wilma, who was still living next-door in Tim's house. At some point, his aunt's friend Renee moved in with Wilma and joined in the melee, plotting to rid themselves of Diane. It turned ugly and Diane was ousted. In return, Wilma invited Renee to move into Helen's now-empty house. And there she and her three roommates remain, to this day, almost six years later.

That left me in a position I've never experienced before: having to evict someone from their long-time residence (albeit they never paid a penny of rent in all those years). It was sudden and I understood that it would create hardship for Renee and her crew, but given the amount of repair and clean-up needed before the house could be sold, it had to be done. Besides the fact that Mark and I had paid $2,400 in property taxes for a house we received no benefit from during those three years.

Helen's citrus and pecan trees are gone, her pool fence was sold off, the 

shed is defaced, and her green lawn is now bare dirt covered with garbage.

As it happens, my older son Jacob is currently getting divorced after three years of marriage, and he had decided to move back to Arizona from his current home in Utah. Before I was even deeded Helen's house, he'd made arrangements to end his lease, rent a truck to haul his furniture, and transfer to the Phoenix office of the law firm he works for. When I received the deed, I suddenly realized that if anyone deserved to be living in Helen's house, her great-grandson Jacob did. Thus, I needed to have the house vacant in time for his arrival on May 31st.

It's been a stressful and expensive process but, thankfully, it's pretty well settled now. I served the tenants with the required 30-day Eviction Notice, asking them to be out by May 1st. Renee sent me a letter agreeing to move out but arguing that she couldn't be out until July 1st. While I wasn't opposed to giving them a little more time, that was more than I felt was workable, and I couldn't leave it to chance. So I filed a complaint and hired a process server at a total cost of $166. We both appeared in court two days ago. The judge did find in my favor, but he agreed to my stipulation that we give her more than the usual five days before calling the constable for a forced eviction. Instead, he ordered her to be out by 8:00 a.m. on Monday, May 28th. That gives her an extra few weeks while still vacating the house in time for Jacob's arrival.

Facing the back patio, which has been enclosed by sheets of plywood.

Jacob and I spoke about giving him reduced rent while he helps fix up the house for sale. Then, a few days after that conversation, he called me and said, "Mom, I've been thinking about it, and I want to buy Grandma's house. It should stay in our family." I'm sure that Helen is jumping for joy on the other side of the veil. Her dearest dream would be to have one of her descendants living in and taking care of her home. I hope it works out for him. But we have a lot to do before it's fit for sale, as you can see from these pictures.

The side of the house between Helen's (on left) and Tim's houses.

I only went inside the house once, on the day I took these pictures, April 4th. It only allowed me a cursory glimpse at what we're up against, but clearly it's going to be a big job. I plan to spend about four days in Mesa with Jacob when he moves in. I'll have to have the broken picture-window on the front of the house replaced. At least the front door and the back door will need to be replaced, and I'll get a security door for at least the front door...but probably the back, as well. All the locks must be changed, and Jacob has already hired a security company to wire the house with alarms and security cameras just two days after he moves in.

And that's just for starters! The walls inside the house need paint and, in some spots, drywall work. I'll purchase the paint and painting supplies while I'm there, and then Jacob will work on that project on his days off. Inner doors need to be replaced, as well, along with missing door trim. The living room and all three bedrooms need new flooring. The garage door and garage door opener are broken. The roof needs patching or replacement. The plywood enclosing the patio needs to be removed. Nearly all the cabinets need repair or placement.

The list goes on and on. The question will be which items I'll be required by the appraiser to do before the house can be sold, and what else I can afford to fix in order to get as much for the house as we want (even if we sell it to our son). Mark owes me almost $50,000 in back child support, and he's agreed that's the first debt to be paid with the proceeds of selling the house. That will be enough to more than pay off my own house and car, leaving me debt-free. Plus he has debts of his own that we need to use the profits to pay down. 

It's all uncharted territory to me, but I'm getting excited to get started!

The door between the laundry room and the back patio.

Knee-high piles of "stuff" filled almost every room.