Family Togetherness

Sarah with her dad, Mark, after her concert last Saturday.

2 May 2015

It's been a family-filled week. While it's typical for me to see all my children, even the adult married kids, more than once a week, we've enjoyed their presence even more often now that their dad is around again.

The White Mountain Symphony Orchestra performed last weekend.

Last Saturday Dylan, Mark, and I attended Sarah's concert, where she performs on violin with the White Mountain Symphony Orchestra. The last time Mark attended one of his daughter's concerts was before our divorce in 2006, and that was a high school orchestra concert, not a community symphony orchestra. 

Sarah is always totally focused when she performs. And hard to see from the audience.

I finally got a good shot of Sarah when the orchestra members stood to take a bow

at the end of the concert!

We sat with Chris and his mom Brenda and enjoyed the event. Especially fun was the final half, when winners of a statewide competition performed, including a student from our high school, a good friend of Dylan's named Courtney, who performed a beautiful solo on her violin with the support of the entire orchestra behind her.

Courtney is an amazing performer.

At intermission, we had fun trying to get a group selfie with my camera. Cameras are trickier than cell phones, because you can't see what you're taking a picture of like you can when you use a cell phone. However, I like the quality of my camera's pictures better, so I keep trying.

Failed to get Dylan in this try.

All three of us together at intermission.

We've also enjoyed more family dinners than usual. A night or two after Mark's return, we gathered for spaghetti and garlic bread. After the concert on Saturday we all got together, including Jacob and Danielle (who'd missed the concert because they were working), to enjoy grilled steaks, steak fries, and a green salad packed full of fresh vegetables a la Jacob-style, with blue cheese dressing. On Sunday we had our usual weekly family dinner, chowing on pasta combo--a family favorite--with garlic toast on the side. (Pasta combo is made up of spaghetti noodles, bottled Italian dressing, shredded Parmesan cheese, diced chicken, and lots of chopped, fresh tomatoes.)

Plenty of leftover fried chicken and potato salad. No cooking for tonight's dinner!

This week we were joined by Jacob and Danielle on Thursday night for shredded beef soft tacos, and again last night for homemade fried chicken and potato salad. Tonight Mark, Dylan, and I are on our own, but we're planning on chicken Parmesan for tomorrow's Sunday dinner. I love having my kids around so often, but even more, I love watching them enjoy being with their dad again.

A drainer full of clean dishes this afternoon.

With all of this family action, the use of my kitchen is in hyper-drive, which means many, many more dirty dishes than usual. Thank goodness for Mark's helpful attitude. I've hardly had to wash a dish since he got here, so I come home to a clean kitchen everyday. He also assists willingly with all cooking chores, chopping and peeling and grilling right along with us. After last night's greasy mess, Mark spent a long time cleaning up in the kitchen this morning, leaving me free to focus on getting laundry done. Thank you, Mark. You are a good man!

Daddy's Home

Mark with two of our three children, Dylan and Sarah, on April 28

just before we headed home from the Rancho Vistoso Resort in Oro Valley, AZ.

Dylan (holding our ratty old cat Gimli) watches Jacob check the oil in my car.

I sneaked these picture from my kitchen window on Saturday, April 25th.

We made yet another trip to the Tucson area last weekend, one that was pretty important to our family. Due to their work schedules, Jacob and Danielle were unable to join us this time, but Sarah, Chris, Dylan, and I made the 3.5-hour trip to southern Arizona on Sunday, April 26.

Brotherly silliness ensues.

Despite being unable to join us, Jacob came over on Saturday to be sure my car was fit for travel and then took it over to the car wash and made it look nice for our trip. My kids are simply awesome!

They just crack themselves up!

We left our mountain home at 12:30 on Sunday and turned toward our resort in Oro Valley, just northeast of Tucson. With one brief stop in Globe, we were able to reach the WorldMark Rancho Vistoso Resort at exactly 4:00, our official check-in time. That is deeply satisfying to OCD people like me!

Dylan drove us from Globe to Oro Valley. It was a two-car trip.

Sarah and Chris followed in their new Jeep liberty.

Sunday, April 26th

With Dylan driving, I was free to take pictures of scenery en route, like this.

And like this.

Sarah and Chris soon after checking into our 2-bedroom unit.

We were still getting all our stuff moved in.

Dylan and Sarah enjoying our traditional vacation dinner of

grilled chicken and potato salad on Sunday night.

This is how I found Dylan in the Murphy-bed when I awoke on Monday morning.

He'd made himself a man-cave because it was "too bright" to sleep after the sun came up.

When Monday morning dawned, we got up early, ate a quick breakfast of deviled eggs (which I'd prepared the previous day), and drove to the Greyhound Bus Depot in downtown Tucson. This was the whole purpose of our trip, the BIG DAY we'd been waiting for.

After serving three years for (nonviolent) crimes related to his addictions, with which he's been struggling since childhood (literally, since the age of 9), my first husband, my children's father, was released from prison in south Tucson. Due to uncertainty surrounding the status of the house Mark inherited from his father, it looked like his only option during parole was to move into a halfway house. Knowing the low success rate for parolees in halfway houses, I agreed to have Mark come stay with us for the next eight months, until the end of his parole.

Mark (left) disembarks, wearing his "blues."

We arrived at the bus depot around 8:45 and waited another 45 minutes, until the shuttle carrying the newly released inmates-turned-parolees arrived. The kids waited anxiously to see their dad as a half-dozen men in new blue tee-shirts and jeans, carrying cardboard boxes of their belongings, unloaded from the van. And then, finally, there he was, free at last.

We'd all squeezed into Sarah and Chris's Jeep for this little outing, and now Mark climbed aboard, too. Our next stop was a thrift shop called Savers, where Mark had heard we could get clothes cheaply. He now owned nothing but the clothes on his back and the little box of papers, letters, deodorant, and toothpaste. He also had a money card containing $121.98, the sum of his earnings in prison. It isn't much, but I think there are times when being forced to start fresh is a true blessing.

Dylan captured this shot of our buffet stop.

We soon figured out that the clothes at Savers were cheap because they weren't worth much, so I decreed that we would buy clothes at Walmart later. Then we headed to the town of Marana and the Golden Corral Buffet there. During our weekly Sunday phone calls with Mark, I'd asked what he wanted for his first few meals of freedom. Without question, he wanted to start off by stuffing himself at an all-you-can-eat buffet! 

Mark with Sarah and Chris inside Golden Corral at the end of our meal.

For the first hour after he joined us, Mark was even quieter than usual and had a rather bewildered look on his face. Then, several times throughout the morning, Mark would open his arms wide and look up at the big blue sky and let out a big sigh of satisfaction. At one point he said, "It feels strange to be free." It was kind of sweet.

Budding photographer Dylan grabbed my camera and started taking extreme closeups.

Thankfully, my face is blurry. I think he's better with landscapes...

He got this shot of Sarah leaving Golden Corral.

From Golden Corral, we moved on to Walmart in Oro Valley, near the resort, to buy a couple pairs of jeans, some shirts, a pair of shoes, packages of socks and underwear, and some swim trunks. Mark expressed his desire to burn all the clothes issued to him by the prison and never look back. I can't say I blame him. 

Now we're talking! Dylan took this gorgeous shot from the Walmart parking lot.

I've taken dozens of pictures of the Santa Catalina Mountain Range over the years

and never managed one that looked this amazing!

Back at the condo, Mark, Dylan, Chris, and Sarah relax before dinnertime.

Mark hasn't lost his touch. He grilled those pork chops to perfection!

Must be where both our sons got the golden griller touch!

Gathered around the dinner table on Monday night:

Mark, Sarah, Chris, and Dylan.

Mark's request for his first home-cooked meal (or resort-cooked?):

Grilled pork chops, buttered corn, and mashed potatoes and gravy.

I added the homemade chunky guacamole, which is delicious on pork chops!

Off to the pool after dinner! The guys hit the hot tub first.

That big splash was Mark hitting the water.

Dylan makes the next big splash.

Mark's first breakfast request for Tuesday morning was fairly modest...not!

Fried eggs, bacon, hash browns, English muffins, and chocolate milk!

Preparing to head back home, pausing for one last picture:

Chris (age 37), Sarah (age 25), Mary (age 60), and Mark (age 46).

Dylan got this shot of my car from the Jeep behind as we drove home.

Our little mini-vacation had to come to an end at last. We stopped at the Carl's Jr. in Globe, where Mark wanted to try the El Diablo burger and I got my usual lettuce-wrapped Super Star. Then we were back on our mountain before 4:00 on Tuesday afternoon. We did some shopping for an air mattress and bedding so Mark could settle into his own room. He was finally reunited with our middle child Jacob and daughter-in-law Danielle. And we all went out to eat, introducing him to our favorite Chinese place. He liked it a lot.

A week has gone by and it's been great. Mark was always easy to live with, and now that he's been clean and sober for over three years, it's even more comfortable. He tells us he is turning his life around, and I know he means it. I hope he can do it, but only time will tell, as he faces the temptations that will surely come. Meanwhile, his kids are loving having him around!

Tuesday, April 28, 2015: All together at last at China Wok!

Dylan (age 17), Sarah (24), Chris (37), Danielle (21), Jacob (23), and Mark (46).

Prom 2015

Dylan and his Prom date, Mary, after arriving at Prom.

On the left is Mary's brother Jim, and on the right is Dylan and Mary's friend, Justice.

April 11, 2015 

A week ago was Blue Ridge High School's Junior-Senior Prom. When you have a son or daughter going to Prom, it always makes for an interesting day!

I started the day as I do most Saturdays: cleaning house and doing laundry. I did get out for a few minutes when Dylan and I went to pick up his date's corsage.

The Prom scene from Cinderella.

Around 1:30, Dylan and Mary went to see the new film version of Cinderella. That seems appropriate, because the ball where the Prince and Cinderella meet seems like one big, really fancy Prom! Take, for instance, all the jealous girls eyeing with envy the most beautiful, graceful girl in the room. It's high school drama at its best!

Dylan makes gooey pizza dough.

After the movie, Dylan and Mary came back to our place, and they had one extra person in tow. They had run into their friend, Justice, who'd bought a Prom ticket but then decided not to go. They convinced him to go with them and just have a good time together. I love that my kids are always ready to welcome more people into their circle of friends and fun.

They all had a hilarious time making a pizza from scratch, and managed to do it without totally destroying the kitchen. I didn't stay to sample their finished product, but when I called Dylan later he told me it was "Amazing!"

Dylan, Justice, and Mary play some "Guitar Hero" while the pizza bakes.

Once they had their pizza in the oven, it was nearly 5:00. I said farewell to the kids and headed uphill to the WorldMark Pinetop Resort, where Chris and Sarah were spending a leisurely weekend "stay-cation," to have dinner with them in their condo.

Chris and Sarah's unit was in this building, upstairs on the right.

Loved this sculpture in front of their building.

Chris grilled up some steaks on the balcony.

Sarah made a yummy green salad.

Some mashed potatoes rounded out our delicious dinner in the pines!

I was able to stay and visit for a short time after dinner, but at 6:30 I had to head back home to get ready to chaperon Prom. Prom starts at 8:00, but I like to arrive a bit early to take pictures before the place is packed with energetic young people.

Mary blinked in this picture...

...and Dylan blinked in this one! I can't win.

Justice, Jim, Mary, Dylan, and Mom Mary.

Dylan and his crew arrived fashionably late, around 8:30. I met them outside for pictures, in order to avoid embarrassing them inside where the crowds were.

This year, Prom was held in the local Auto Mall, at one of the Tate's showrooms there. I couldn't imagine how such an unusual venue would play out, but it turned out to be both interesting and odd.

The Prom pictures in a service bay with tires on racks was definitely odd.

Our Prom theme this year was "Bella Verona."

I heard that Tate's closed their shop down for that entire day so Student Council would have time to decorate and set up. They moved something like 150 cars to make room for the event. I'm impressed. (I also bought my last three vehicles from Tate's!)

Arriving students were greeted by staff members,

Mrs. Slaughter (social studies) and Mrs. Stidham (guidance counselor).

The food was simply glorious, even in a auto dealership!

The pictures make me drool all over again!

The Italian Soda Bar was highly popular. 

They served over 1,000 drinks to slightly less than 200 students!

I tried the English Toffee flavor, and it was amazing!

This fancy water fountain was also very popular all night.

At the Prom Royalty table, the teens voted for Prom King and Queen

and Prince and Princess by placing a stone in the glasses of their choices.

The polished dance floor before Prom began. Later it was packed,

wall-to-wall, with enthusiastic dancers. 

The Italian-style decor was stunning.

Tables where the kids could take a break and visit, 

enjoy their refreshments, and watch the dancing.

I got a few action shots of my son from afar.

Here, Mary and Dylan show their dance moves on the sidelines.

Visiting with Dylan's friend Kenzie (in vivid pink) and her date.

Dylan and Kenzie went to Morp together last month.

The dances the kids seem to enjoy most are the line dances.

I think this one was the "Wobble."

As a chaperon, these are the dances I most enjoy watching, too.

Mary struts her stuff at the right.

As a high school teacher, I chaperon lots of events, but I admit that Prom is my favorite. It's kind of magical, even for an old gal like me. Maybe it's because I never went to my own Prom back in the Dark Ages, but it's fun to be a part of it and see the kids having a great time, and it's even more memorable when one of those kids is my own!

Dylan, Kenzie, and her date at right, staying on the sidelines for this number.

Dylan claimed he didn't know the "Wobble"!