Once Upon a Time

14 May 2010: Mary and Ed a few hours after their first meeting.

Once upon a time, two people fell in love and with their children became a family.

In my post on April 10, I wrote about my latest attempt at online dating.  After quite a few less-than-ideal experiences, I wrote that I had finally "met" some nice men.  Click here to go to that post:

            http://melethwensmemories.blogspot.com/2010/04/romantic-profiling.html 

In fact, at that time I was corresponding with a few interesting men, including one I had met on April Fool's Day. While the other men dropped away one by one, this particular man stayed with me. We agreed to go slowly, taking time to really get to know each other as we built a tentative relationship.

Just a few days after we began writing, this man took a 2-week trip to visit friends in Portland, Oregon. He sort of took me along, writing to me every night and sharing his experiences with me. I began to get a feel for the person he is and the things that are important to him.

Soon we were sharing our life stories, the good, the bad, and the ugly. We held nothing back, and I quickly found myself feeling close to him. As a writer, I understand how easy it is to connect with someone via the written word, but I was amazed that I could feel I'd known and cared about him for years when we'd never met in person.

Ed meets Mary’s family on May 14: Sarah, Ed, Mary, Jacob, and Dylan.

This man was Ed, of course. It took only 3 weeks for both of us to recognize that something special was happening. On April 23 we graduated from messages sent through the singles website to exchanging our home emails. Now we could send pictures to each other, but that still wasn't enough. On April 24 we moved on to nightly phone calls. That first night I was so nervous my stomach was turning somersaults, but within moments of hearing his deep voice I knew this was a man with whom I could truly be myself.

We stop by Karla’s house to visit before heading to the white Mountains.

(Left-to-right: Celesta, Gabrielle, Addison, Karla, Julien, and Elyssa.)

Originally, Ed and I had planned to meet in July at Estes Park, Colorado, where, long before I knew Ed even existed, I'd reserved a condo for our 2010 family vacation. Coincidentally, Estes Park is located less than a 2-hour drive from Ed's home in Cheyenne, Wyoming. We both thought we might be ready to meet by then. It was 3 months away and seemed like a safe plan.

However, after only two nights of telephone conversations, we knew we wouldn’t be able to wait that long to meet. The next day we checked our calendars and decided on a weekend that was workable for both of us, and before I knew it Ed had roundtrip plane tickets to Arizona for May 14-17, just 18 days away.

Mary and Ed after breakfast the next morning.

(Jacob made us homemade biscuits and gravy with hash browns.)

It was the longest 18 days in history. We spoke on the phone every night, usually for 5 or 6 hours. It was often 2:00 a.m. or later when we hung up because neither of us wanted to say good-night. There was always so much to share, and the only time we didn’t miss each other was when we were on the phone together, so we hated to break the connection. Ed often asked, “How can I miss you like this when I haven’t even met you?”

On Saturday morning, Ed plays ball with Dylan in the street.

During the days, Ed would send me sweet emails, both at school and at home. It was hard to focus on anything else when I was continually checking for his latest email! Soon even our nightly phone calls weren’t enough, so we would call each other once or twice throughout the evening after I was home from work. During the final week before his visit, he would call first thing in the morning and wake me so we could talk before I got ready for work.

By the time Ed came to Arizona, I was exhausted!

Lunch at China Wok buffet on Saturday afternoon.

I meant to blog Ed’s visit. He told me he was fine with being featured on my blog, and I took lots of pictures. What I hadn’t planned on was spending every second together except for the few hours we slept each night (still exhausted). Or Ed extending his visit twice. Or realizing we really didn’t want to be apart ever again and getting married one week after his arrival and four days before he returned to Wyoming.

Ed takes Jacob and Dylan to ride the go-carts.

Long before Ed and I finally met in person, we both knew we were in love and wanted to be married for eternity. Still, Ed wanted us to wait until we were together to express our feelings for each other. A lot of our phone conversations ended with vague phrases like, “You know what I want to say” or “I…I…I…like you so much!”

On Friday, the night of his arrival, Ed told me he loved me, and I was thrilled to finally be able to say the same to him. On Saturday night we went out for a romantic dinner at Chalet.  After we returned home Ed proposed, and I gladly accepted. On Sunday we attended church together. On Monday we chose my engagement ring and ordered our wedding bands, and we set our wedding date for June 24th. All in all, our first weekend together was so wonderful we didn’t want it to end.

Ed and Mary at Dylan’s ballgame on Monday night.

(Notice the shiny new engagement ring!)

Then Jacob asked Ed to stay for his graduation on Thursday, May 20. Dylan wanted Ed to attend more of his ballgames to cheer him on, as well as continue to practice pitching, batting and throwing with him at home. In the end, Ed moved his home flight back to Tuesday, May 25.

The rest, as they say, is history. Ed fit into our family so seamlessly that neither the kids nor I could imagine going back to life without him. They enjoyed his company and he was genuinely interested in them. I couldn’t bear the idea of being separated from him for several more weeks, and Ed himself felt his life was now in Arizona rather than Wyoming. Given the great distance between our homes, suddenly it made more sense to be married right away instead of waiting.

That’s our story. And it all ends with “They lived happily ever after.”

Wyoming Days

Dylan spends hours gleefully riding his rip-stik on the sidewalks around the apartment.

(There are no sidewalks in our Lakeside neighborhood!)

Today was the sixth day of our stay in Wyoming, and it was the first time we were able to slow down and relax, spending most of the day in our Cheyenne apartment. Ed had to have a tooth pulled this morning, and the dentist warned him not to exert himself all day, while the bleeding stopped.

Now I know why Ed’s friends laugh when he refers to himself as “retired.” He is indeed a retired mechanic, but his schedule is very full. Every morning we get up with the alarm and quickly prepare to leave the apartment for a variety of activities.

Most mornings begin with a drive to Ed’s mom’s house, across the border in Colorado just 30 minutes away. He helps her keep up with her big house on 2 acres by hauling and cutting wood for her furnace, trimming and mowing the acreage, and making various repairs, among many other projects.  He also drives her to the store, the doctor's office, and other appointments.

Dylan works on whacking down weeds around the shop.

The time we spend at Caryl’s house is a blessing for both Dylan and me. Ed has taken Dylan under his wing, teaching him how to do repair work and paying him to assist with chores. The two of them have really bonded, and Dylan is blossoming from both the attention and the responsibility.

Dylan loves mowing the acreage on the rider mower.

Ed also allowed him to drive a car around the back roads. E-gads!

As for me, I take along projects I’ve neglected far too long, having been rather distracted by our unexpected and happily time-consuming romance. While I work my way through these projects, I also have hours to visit with my new mother-in-law, and we already feel like old friends. Caryl has told me twice that she feels like we’ve known each other forever. Maybe we have, in the spiritual sense!

Trying out Ed’s Remington Varmint Rifle was one of Dylan’s greatest thrills!

(Ed is former military—Air Force—and is also very much into hunting.)

It seems that everyday Ed gets a call from someone asking him to work on their car or chainsaw or some other piece of equipment. Or they ask him to pick up parts and supplies or drop off items for repair. He doesn’t have the heart to tell anyone no, which only makes me love him more.

Still, I worry that we’ll never get to the tasks we must undertake in order to close up the apartment and move Ed to Lakeside in the few weeks we have left. He assures me that it will all work out just fine. Meanwhile, a few people have hinted to me that the folks of Cheyenne are going to experience a great loss when I take Ed away to Arizona!

On Tuesday night Ed grilled steaks for us. Yum!

Finally, we’ve enjoyed visiting with some of Ed’s friends in the evenings. I love getting to know the people who are important to him and seeing how much they care about him. Thankfully, they’ve all been very welcoming to me. I think our mutual happiness is clear to everyone, which helps ease worries that we rushed into marriage too soon.

On Wednesday, Ed took Dylan to Scouts with him. Dylan had a great time!

So far, we have yet to actually start on any activities related to the move itself. However, Ed is working through the other tasks that must be accomplished before we can start packing and loading up. I expect that packing is how we’ll be spending our time next week.  At least, that's what I'm hoping for!

A Memorable Memorial Day

The newlyweds, Ed and Mary, pose on the balcony of Old Bedlam.

Who would have thought a month ago that I would be married and spending Memorial Day in Wyoming with my new husband and mother-in-law? Not me, that’s for sure!

Ed and Caryl chat with a park worker about the fort’s history.

Ed’s mom, Caryl, wanted to do something memorable for Dylan and me while we were in town, so she suggested that we all go see some historical sites about 2 hours north of Cheyenne.

Caryl, Ed, and Dylan check out the officers’ quarters, known as “Old Bedlam.”

Our first stop on Monday was Fort Laramie, a fort held by the army in the mid-1800s and now mostly restored. The park’s employees dressed in period costumes and were very knowledgeable about the site’s history.

Mary with a sign at the trailhead.

We spent quite a bit of time at Fort Laramie. Then we piled back into the car and drove an additional 30 minutes eastward, just beyond the town of Guernsey, WY.

Mary and Ed stand in the wagon ruts.

Here we found 2 sites that are part of the history of the Mormon Church: the Guernsey Ruts and Register Cliff.

Dylan leaves the beaten path to explore the wildlife and risk jumping over ravines.

This area is part of the trail followed by the Mormon pioneers, along with several other groups, as they traveled to the West. The sandstone over which their wagons passed was so soft that their wooden wheels carved deep ruts into the stone, which remain there to this day.

Ed and Dylan at another section of the ruts.

Finally, we drove 2 more miles to Register Cliff, where the same pioneers paused in their travels to carve their names into the sandstone cliff alongside the trail. The names and dates on these cliffs have been authenticated as far back as 1797.

Historic names and dates carved into the rock alongside those carved later, from the 1960s to 2000s.

By the time we returned to Cheyenne, it was about 5:00 p.m. and we had one final, important stop to make to commemorate Memorial Day. We stopped by the cemetery to visit the graveside of Ed’s dad, who passed away last November.

Ed with his mom, Caryl, at his father’s graveside.

We ended the evening by going to dinner at Outback before driving Caryl back to her home. Before we returned to Cheyenne, Dylan (a Boy Scout First Class) assisted Ed (Assistant Scoutmaster) in properly retreating the colors from the pole in front of Caryl’s house.

Ed and Dylan take down the flag at the end of Memorial Day.

It turned out to be a beautiful day and a great opportunity to grow closer as a new family!

Alive and Well in Wyoming

Dylan and Mom just minutes before leaving home at 5:30 a.m.

We’re here! On Saturday, Dylan and I made the very long, 12-hour drive from our home in Arizona’s White Mountains to my husband Ed’s current home in Cheyenne, Wyoming.

Thankfully, it was an uneventful trip. No flat tires or engine trouble. No illness or accidents or bad weather. We met nothing worse than continual road repairs in both New Mexico and Colorado.

12-year-old Dylan dozes on the way to Wyoming.

Dylan actually slept most of the way, so he didn’t provide much company to help me stay alert. I got only 3-and-a-half hours of sleep the night before we left. It was kind of hard to sleep when I was so excited to be reunited with my new husband after 4 days apart! Remember, we’re still newlyweds!

Dylan at Wendy’s for lunch in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Mary in Santa Fe, with mountains in the background.

We made just 3 stops along the way. We filled the tank in Gallup, New Mexico, before driving on to Santa Fe, where we stopped for gas and lunch. From there, we drove on to Pueblo, Colorado. We stopped there to gas up the car one last time.

Dylan cleans the windshield in Pueblo, Colorado.

In Pueblo, I also bought 2 dark chocolate bars, hoping the caffeine in them would help wake me up a little. I was more alert after that, but I’m not sure if that was due to the chocolate kick or if it was because I was now less than 3 hours from being in Ed’s embrace again!

Ed’s mom Caryl outside her house on Sunday morning.

Ed met us outside when we pulled up at his mom’s house in Carr, Colorado, at 6:30 p.m. (that’s Colorado/Wyoming time, which is currently an hour ahead of our Arizona time.) It was great to finally meet his mother, Caryl. She told me she’s been praying for years that Ed would meet someone who would make him happy. What a sweet lady to have for my new mother-in-law!

Ed’s nice, 2-bedroom apartment in Cheyenne (bottom right).

After a short visit, Ed jumped in the car with Dylan and me and drove us 30 minutes further north, across the state line, to his apartment in Cheyenne, Wyoming. As exhausted as I was, we still had a wonderful reunion. He surprised me with the beautiful flowers below.

Red roses and lilies from my sweetheart.

Sunday was a full day. We were up early to prepare for church, then we returned to Carr, CO, to pick up Ed’s mom before heading back to attend Ed’s ward in Cheyenne. It was the first of the 3 Sundays during which Dylan and I will attend the Frontier Ward. Everyone was friendly and anxious to meet Ed’s new wife. There were many surprised glances at the start of the meeting when the second counselor, Brother Micheli, announced the recent marriage of Ed and Mary Reynolds!

Arriving at the Frontier Ward meetinghouse.

That evening we attended an open house for a military family in Ed’s ward, who’ve been transferred to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Cayle and Trina are friends of Ed’s, and he hopes to visit them in their new home since he’ll soon be living with us in Lakeside, just 4 hours away from Albuquerque.

I can’t even express how happy I am to be here, back with my husband where I belong. I hope it’s a very long time before we have to be apart again!

Not Good-bye

Ed and Mary on the edge of the Mogollon Rim, 25 May 2010.

Yesterday was tough.  We'd only been married for four days--four blissfully wonderful days--when I had to drive Ed to Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix and watch him board a plane back to Cheyenne.

I know it's necessary for him to tie up his loose ends so he can get moved here permanently.  I know I'll see him in just 3 more days, when Dylan and I drive to Cheyenne to join Ed on Saturday.  I know we both have a lot of tasks to complete, so the time should pass quickly.  I know...well, I'm pretty sure I'll survive this short separation.  But I miss him horribly already, and the tears seem to spill too easily and frequently.

How is it possible to feel so happy and so sad at the same time?   

When Ed arrived, we chose the Salt River Canyon route to bring him to our mountain home.  Yesterday we took the Mogollon Rim route to leave our mountain.  I wanted to share all the amazing scenery of our area with him.

Before we started down the face of the Rim, we stopped at an overlook to enjoy the breathtaking view spread out before us.  Jacob came with us so I wouldn't have to make the 3-hour drive home alone after leaving the airport, so we gave him the job of taking these pictures.  The lighting wasn't perfect, but the memories are.

We arrived at the airport before 8:00 pm, so we had about half an hour to relax and say our farewells.  It was awfully hard.  Ed kept telling me we weren't saying good-bye, we were saying "I'll see you soon."  Maybe, but it still felt a lot like good-bye to me.

When Jacob took this picture, he said, "You look like you're in pain, Mom."  It's called heartache, Son.

Ed's flight to Denver left at 9:25.  It was after 2:00 a.m. in Cheyenne when he reached his home.  It was just after midnight in Arizona when Jacob and I got back here.  Despite the lateness, Ed and I still spoke on the phone for a very long time.  We spoke again this morning.

This separation will be over soon, but meanwhile it just doesn't feel right for us to be apart.  You're right, my love, this is not good-bye.  I'll see you soon.

Mr. and Mrs.

Newlyweds Ed and Mary Reynolds minutes after the wedding!

Yes, we really did it.  Ed and I got married yesterday by a Justice of the Peace in Show Low.

Yes, it was sudden.  So sudden our heads are still spinning.  But I've never been happier; I've never felt so at peace; I've never been so much in love.

I've tried to sit down and blog our whirlwind romance several times these past weeks, but everything has been so, well, whirlwindish!  There was just no time.  So many wonderful things have been happening between Ed and I, as well as with my (our) family, and I promise to share it all as soon as possible.

Dylan, age 12; Jacob, age 18; Ed and Mary; and Sarah, age 20.

We didn't tell anyone except my children (who already love Ed and think of him as their dad).  Oh, and my friend Wyndie, who happened to be there when Ed called me at work yesterday morning to tell me a Justice of the Peace would be available to marry us at 5:00 that afternoon.

It wasn't our intent to exclude anyone.  We only knew we wanted to be together as soon as possible, but we didn't really know how quickly that could be arranged.  When Ed came from his home in Cheyenne, Wyoming, to spend time with me and my children, he'd only planned to stay for 4 days, May 14-17.  Since his arrival, he's extended the length of his stay two times.  When we realized he really would have to fly back home next Tuesday, May 25, we began to talk about getting married sooner rather than later. 

Ed and I drove to Holbrook after school on Thursday to get a marriage license.  At dinner that night, Ed told the kids we were thinking about getting married right away.  They were enthusiastic about the idea.  In fact, for the rest of the night Dylan kept asking hopefully if we'd decided yet.

We didn't decide for sure until after Jacob's graduation Thursday night that we wanted to get married the next day.  Even then, we had no idea whether a judge would be available so quickly.  Thankfully, Judge Dana Sipes was willing to do the deed, and now Ed and I are husband and wife!

We found a big bag of wedding surprises waiting on the kitchen table when we returned home.

Thanks, Wyndie and Charla!

I suppose it was an odd wedding day.  We started out the morning not knowing if we'd even be getting married.  I'm still getting used to the idea that May 21st is now our anniversary!

I had to work all day, completing those end-of-the-school-year tasks that keep me so busy, but it was awfully hard to concentrate once I knew my wedding was just hours away!  When I got home from work, I helped Ed prepare burritos for dinner.  Then we dressed in our Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes and drove to the justice court. 

Our wedding was short and sweet.  We were both so nervous, I felt our hands trembling as we clasped them during the ceremony.  I was already wearing my engagement ring, but there were no wedding rings to exchange.  Originally we'd planned to get married on June 24th, so we had ordered custom wedding rings, which won't be ready for at least 3 more weeks. 

It was very special to have Sarah and Jacob serve as our witnesses.  Their signatures are now and forever attached to our license.  After the wedding, Ed was touched when Jacob grabbed him in a huge bear hug.  On the way home, Jacob and Dylan debated whether to start calling Ed "Dad."  As of now the decision is "maybe." 

As soon as we got home, we had to quickly change clothes and get Dylan to his ballgame.  Dylan wasted no time telling his coach (who is our bishop) about the wedding, and from there word spread like wildfire.  Soon we were surrounded by excited well-wishers at the Little League field.  My friend A'Lece even invited Jacob and Dylan to spend the night with her family so Ed and I could have some privacy for our wedding night.  We took her up on it!

Ed and Mary Reynolds, ages 49 and 55, at Mama Bears this morning.

I loved waking up as Mrs. Ed Reynolds this morning!  Ed suggested we go out to breakfast to celebrate, so we took the boys with us to Mama Bear's restaurant.  (Sarah is babysitting today.)  Since breakfast, Ed and the boys have been to ride go-carts at Family Fun Park and are currently challenging each other at Guitar Hero on Wii, giving me some time to blog. 

Dylan and Jacob at Mama Bears.

There is so much more to come!  We're planning an Alaskan cruise for our honeymoon in June.  Ed lived in Alaska for 23 years and wants to show me the inside passage (whatever that is...).  In just 3 days Ed returns to Cheyenne to begin the process of relocating to our home in Arizona.  It will be so hard to put him on that plane, but I plan to follow him to Wyoming by car just 3 days after he leaves.  This will be an interesting summer, with both of us traveling back and forth, here and there, to merge our separate lives into one whole.

One important step still remains: on May 21, 2011, Ed and I intend to be sealed in the Snowflake Temple.  To us, yesterday's wedding was simply to satisfy the law and allow us to be together at this time.  The real cause for celebration will be when we are sealed for all eternity.  That's when we will invite all our family and friends to be there to rejoice with us! 

The road ahead will be a challenge, but there is nothing we can't overcome as long as we're together! 

A Senior Banquet, or Two

Is it really possible that my green-eyed baby boy is about to graduate from high school?  How did 18 years of his life pass by so quickly?  In just 8 days he will don his cap and gown and cross the stage to accept his diploma from the hands of his proud mother!  That's if he passes his government class, of course!  (Imagine me saying that with a slightly strained smile...)

On Monday night Jacob and I enjoyed attending the annual senior banquet, a dinner for the seniors and their parents.  It includes the presentation of awards for tongue-in-cheek accomplishments such as "Most likely to be voted off Survivor," or "Best Wardrobe."  

This year the banquet was held at the Christmas Tree Restaurant.  I just had to get this picture of Jacob with Santa asleep at the wheel.  

We were joined at our table by our new principal and his wife, Eric and Kim Harmon.  Although this is his first year as principal, I've known Eric for years, first as a math teacher and then as athletic director.  Kim works in the LEEP (job training) program, and I consider her a friend.

Of course, I was there, too!  I'm just so proud of my son and the good things he has accomplished so far in his young life!

And now I must give equal time to my firstborn:

Sarah graduated 2 years ago, but her senior banquet pictures were never posted due to the fact that I hadn't yet figured out how to do this blogging thing at that time!  Her banquet was held at the Hon Dah Casino conference center on the nearby Apache reservation.

Her favorite thing about the banquet was having a last chance to hang out with her best friends, Kristin and Brandy.  Here, she and Kristin load their plates at the buffet.

And here, she and Brandy clown around while waiting for the action to start.  Sarah still stays in contact with both girls, but as we old folks know, the dynamics of these friendships change once high school is a thing of the past.  They no longer see each other very often.

Soon I shall have but one child left in public school.  Only one child between me and the dreaded empty nest!  It's a little sad to see them grow up and move on, but what great memories we will always share!

Prom 2010

Jacob's final junior-senior prom took place more than 3 weeks ago, and his distracted mom has been a bit slow in sharing the pictures from that evening.  But better late than never, right?

Jacob and his date Cassie had a great time.  They wandered and socialized more than they danced.  They enjoyed the refreshments, the loud music, and the company of friends.  And they mostly managed to avoid Jacob's chaperone mom and her ever-present camera! 

I caught them a few times, though!  I got someone to take this shot of Jacob and me while he was waiting for Cassie to return from the ladies' room.  The rose is for Cassie, of course!

It was an exciting moment when Chanda was crowned Prom Queen.  Chanda is the daughter of my friend Charla, and she is also my son Dylan's Big Sister in the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program.  With her is her date, Keegan, who happened to be Dylan's Big Brother before he graduated and went off to college 2 years ago.  They are two of Dylan's favorite people.

I'm a little sad that it will be a few years before one of my children attends Prom again.  Dylan begins junior high school in August, so it will be 2 years before one of my kids is again a student at the high school where I teach.  After 6 years with Sarah and/or Jacob attending my school, I just may be a little bit lonely there!