Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Rest of the Story

On June 12, in a post about our 1995 trip to Iowa, I mentioned Mark's search for his mom and siblings. His mom left him and his dad when he was 4 months old, and he only saw her a few times as a child. He didn't grow up with his half-siblings, John, Donald, and Rebecca.
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While we were in Iowa, Mark's paternal grandmother (who raised him) located a phone number for Mark's mother, Mary. Mark called and spoke to her, but she didn't want to meet him at that time. However, she did give him information about his 20-year-old sister Becky, who agreed to meet him. We spent an afternoon at the park getting to know her and her 3-year-old son Patrick.
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Unfortunately, we never saw or heard from Becky again. I know she and her husband Pat had a baby girl a few years later. I send her family a Christmas card every year, to let them know they are still family in our hearts, but we never get a response. Still, the door is open.
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In the fall of 1995, though, we got an unexpected letter from Mark's mom. She had recently remarried and her new husband, Ed, was encouraging her to reach out to her long-estranged firstborn son. I quickly wrote her a welcoming letter, and the next thing we knew, we were exchanging phone calls, letters, and cards on a monthly basis.
In June 1997, Ed and Mary came out to Arizona to spend a week with our family. We were so excited to get to know them. Ed was such a great guy. He quickly became Grandpa Johnson in our kids' hearts.
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However, their visit didn't go quite as planned. They arrived on Monday, June 30, just as Mark and I were getting in the car to head to the hospital.
We didn't know it yet, but Dylan was going to be born the next day, and the still-undiagnosed HELLP Syndrome was causing excruciating pain in my right side.
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Mary and Ed offered to care for the kids while Mark joined me, and that's how our week went. I barely welcomed them to our home before I was off to the hospital, and I didn't return till Friday. Then they left on Saturday.
Ed and Mary had a hotel room, but they came to our house everyday to take care of our children while Mark went to work and the hospital.
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I mostly got to know them when they brought Sarah and Jacob over to see Dylan and me. At least Mark and the kids got to spend quality time with them.
We were so happy to have them here, and though we never met again, we continued to have a good long-distance relationship for several years.
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Then Ed became quite ill and had to have a leg amputated. Mary had trouble handling it, and she left Ed. Eventually she married again and we never heard from her after that.
I sent Mary a Christmas card every year until 2007. Apparently she moved without a forwarding address. I hope we'll hear from her again someday.
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Early in 1996, we were stunned to receive a phone call from Mark's brother John, who is 18 months younger than Mark. He said their mother Mary had given him our number and urged him to contact us.
John immediately became part of the family. We hit it off like old friends, and 1-2 hour phone calls with John in Iowa became a regular event.
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In February 1998 John and his wife Kim (now divorced) came from Council Bluffs to spend a few days in Arizona with us (above photo, John age 28 and Mark age 29). They went skiing at nearby Sunrise Resort, where Mark had a spectacular fall down Suicide Hill.
As a long-haul trucker, John was able to stop in and spend a few days with us on many occasions over the years. The picture above was taken during a visit in November 2004; he returned and spent Christmas 2004 with us (at left).
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We continue to stay in touch to this day, and we consider that to be a great blessing. John is a fun, rowdy guy and a good uncle to my kids.
John married his sweetheart Rachael in May 2008 and they live in Missouri near Springfield. In fact, we hope to see them while we're in Missouri, just 2 weeeks from now! They are in business breeding puppies, and I believe John is very happy to be off the road.
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I should get their website information and post it here on my blog for potential puppy customers! John, please send me that info!
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We've had the pleasure of getting to know Rachael during a few of John's visits before their marriage, when Rachael traveled here with him. She is a sweet gal and a welcome addition to our family.
The only one of Mark's siblings we have yet to meet is his brother Don. I hope someday we can have contact with him and complete our family.
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For now, though, we are glad to know those we know. We love them all!

1 comment:

Grandma Honey said...

I am struck by the fact that if you are related to them, or your children are, then you welcome them open hearts into your family.
I also find it interesting that Mary and Ed took care of your kids while you were giving birth...and you had just barely met them. But then I guess you felt like you knew them from the letters, etc. Also, so baffling why Mary disappeared from your life.