A Father's Day Birthday

Mark, the father of my 3 children, was born on June 21, 1968. Every so many years his birthday happens to fall on Father's Day.

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This is one of those years. Mark is 41 today.

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Combining a birthday and Father's Day can be tricky. Do we buy 2 separate cards or choose one over the other? Do we get him two different gifts? Two different cakes? Two different favorite meals? Open the gifts at the same time?

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His favorite cake was an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen, like the one at left. That was in 1995, when Father's Day was 3 days before his 27th birthday.

Although we are no longer married, I wish Mark well. He loves our children and they adore him. I hope he'll always have a meaningful relationship with them.

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Despite the addictions that came between us, I'm deeply grateful that together we were blessed with three amazing children.

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Thanksgiving 1989. Sarah was 3 weeks old, Mark was 21, I was 35.

Mark was an attentive, doting dad. Sarah was a ray of sunlight in our lives and Mark was very proud of her. (She's 5 months old in this picture.)

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Sarah was born in the middle of my final semester of college classes. She was delivered 3 weeks early by emergency c-section and we both spent a week in the hospital, but I only missed one week of my classes.

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I couldn't have done it without Mark. I took Sarah to all my classes, but at home when I had to focus on my studies, Mark made dinner, fed and bathed Sarah, and got up with her in the middle of the night. When she was colicky, he patiently rocked her for hours so I could rest.

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He was just as attentive and proud when Jacob came along. (Here, Sarah is 20 months old and Jacob is 1 day old, June 1991.)

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By then we had moved here and I was teaching. The economy was sluggish and Mark couldn't find a job, so he was Mr. Mom for 2 years. He took good care of our apartment and even better care of our children. They were very attached to him.

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Mark was a very hands-on dad. He enjoyed getting down on the floor and playing with the kids, and they could always count on him for hugs. He wasn't even squeamish about sharing cups and ice cream cones with his drooly toddlers!

By the time Dylan came along 6 years later, Mark was really struggling with his addictions, but he still adored his youngest child. I remember how proud he was to hold him and show him off to everyone he met.

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Here he is communicating with 3-month-old Dylan in October 1997.

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Father's Day is hard for our kids. They miss their dad, especially on the day they want to honor and spoil him. They each took a turn talking to him on the phone tonight. I can tell Mark misses them, too.

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We pray for him every day.

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So happy birthday, Mark, and happy Father's Day, too!